Today, we have the pleasure of a guest post from John Chancellor, an expert in  helping solo-entrepreneurs achieve their goals in business and life. He shares with us today an interesting take on habits! Try it and let me know how it works for you -  I’ll keep you in the loop about my success too. 

Costly thy habit as thy purse can buy.
  ~William Shakespeare
  1564 – 1616

The No Diet Diet

by John Chancellor

If you’ve ever wanted to get rid of a couple of inches around the waistline, you’ve probably tried a diet.

You’re probably also aware that over 90% of people who go on a diet aren’t successful on a long-term basis; whatever weight they drop generally comes back within a short period of time.

You might be surprised to learn that there’s a no-diet diet and it really works.

The program resulted from a set of experiments done by Professor Ben Fletcher at the University of Hertfordshire. He was working with groups of people and each day, they had to pick a different option from contrasting behaviors: lively/quiet, reactive/proactive, introvert/extrovert, passive/assertive, generous/stingy, shy/flirty, and so on. If a person was an introvert, she’d choose to act like an extrovert. If a person was normally quiet, he could choose to be lively.

Each day, they had to choose a behavior that was the opposite of their typical demeanor, then act in a manner consistent with that behavior. They also had to do something outside of their normal range of activities at least twice weekly.



Now here’s the interesting part: Dr. Fletcher found that after four months, the subjects had lost an average of eleven pounds. They weren’t on a diet; losing weight was simply a by-product of taking part in the psychological experiment.



How can we explain these results? Well, the underlying principle is that we’re ruled by habit. When people acted in ways unlike their normal behavior, they forced themselves to consciously think about their actions; they stopped acting like robots and actually took control of their lives. Instead of acting out of habit, they made conscious decisions about their behavior. And instead of eating out of habit, they became more conscious about what, when and how much they ate.



Does this have implications for other areas of our lives? It certainly does. Professor Fletcher calls this FIT Science — Framework for Internal Transformation. It’s well known that if you want things to change, you need to change. But change is extremely difficult. We can’t transform ourselves through sheer willpower. We need to make a fundamental shift for change to be permanent. And the way to do it is with small steps.



Trying to alter major elements of our lives doesn’t work. It’s too difficult. We need to take small steps to change our habits: bringing little things into our conscious awareness and making deliberate choices. If we can make conscious choices — deciding between two opposing options — we will eventually form new, better habits. We’ll lose weight, get out of our comfort zones and start doing the things we should be doing.



While the participants in the experiment lost weight without being on a diet, the applications for other areas of our lives offer much greater benefits. Any time we attempt to change some major part of our lives, fear of the unknown kicks in to keep us stuck in our comfort zone. We have a built-in fear of change. Couple the fear of change with the power of habit and you’ll begin to see why change is so difficult. But by becoming consciously aware of our choices in life, we can dramatically alter our lives by taking small steps not directly connected with the change we seek.



If you really want to change your life, become aware of the things you do. By concentrating on one small behavior and altering your choices in that area, you can make a habit of consciously considering the choices you face. The more aware you are of your choices, the better choices you’ll make. And better choices lead to improvement in all areas of life.


Thanks John, gives me new hope to lose those last few pounds and break other habits too…. I loved how your thoughts wove together with my take on "Fake It Until You Make It’ – see my February post  (http://sharonsayler.com/2012/02/fake-it-never-works/).

About the Author: John Chancellor John Chancellor is a mentor/coach specializing in helping solo-entrepreneurs achieve their goals in business and life.  He helps them gain clarity, commitment and the courage to take the necessary action.  Enjoy his wisdom over at his weekly blog: Lessons in Life (http://www.teachthesoul.com). He is an avid reader and a Top 500 Amazon.com Reviewer too!

Three Tips to Maintain Your Cool During Conflict

There seems to be more stress, pressure and conflict in the workplace then ever before. As budgets tighten, layoffs happen, and higher productivity is expected, tempers inevitably flare. Show your leadership skills by mastering these tips to maintaining a calm presence in the face of conflict and crisis.

Breathe

Keep breathing.  When someone behaves in an unexpected way, it is normal for us to stop breathing momentarily. Breathing low and slowly brings more oxygen to your brain, allowing you to think clearly.  It also slows down your central nervous system response, allowing you to maintain control of yourself and the situation. Think about the best outcome. Choose a win-win resolution.

Be strategic in what you say

During a possible conflict situation, use less first-person pronouns and more third-person pronouns. It can transform a situation. For example, “The report has errors…” instead of “Your report has errors….” Possessive words such as I, my, you and your can lead to defensiveness. 

Know the meaning of your nonverbals

As you discuss the situation, be selective in the amount of direct eye contact.  Too much direct eye contact can enflame the conflict, especially between two males. The rate at which you blink is also a form of giving or removing eye contact. We tend to blink more when we are under stress, so learn to control your blink rate. If you have a serious message to send, practice extending eye contact without blinking. Limited blinking adds to your message’s credibility.

Understanding the unconscious messages you send and how they harm or enhance your part in conflict can determine your career future.

On April 24th, join Sharon Sayler, MBA, CEC, behavioral communications expert and founder of Competitive Edge Communications for more information on defusing workplace conflict through what you say and how you say it, join our webinar: Courage under Fire: How to Defuse Conflict in the Workplace

Signup to join us for Courage under Fire: How to Defuse Conflict in the Workplace April 24th, 2012 at 8:30pm Eastern.

Today, we have the pleasure of a guest post from Ian Peatey, an expert in NVC, shares with us today 4 ways to hear (and respond) to an insult.

Nonviolent Communication (NVC)  is a communcations method developed by Marshall B. Rosenberg, Phd. Through the use of NVC, we learn to hear our own deeper needs and those of others. Through its emphasis on deep listening—to ourselves as well as others—NVC helps us discover the depth of our own compassion.

4 Ways to Hear an Insult

By Ian Peatey

I’ve been insulted a few times and heard lots of feedback that was not at all easy to hear. My habit used to be to take it personally and either respond with silence or go on the attack. Unexamined habits lead me to forget the choices I have in how to hear an insult.

I spent the first part of my adult life trying to please others. The subjects I studied at school, my career (Accounting, of all things!), buying a house, getting married, running a car. All of these were heavily influenced by what I thought would keep other people in my world happy.

With this motivation for all major and minor decisions, any attack, criticism or insult was hard for me to deal with. I heard it as feedback I was failing to please someone. I interpreted it to mean there was something wrong with me! As you can probably guess, my self-esteem was not sky-high with this approach to life!

I Am a Cold Fish

Some years ago, my assistant at work made a huge mess of arranging a conference I was responsible for. We both knew it was potentially one of those career-wrecking screw-ups. As a ‘good’ manager, I stayed very calm and together we fixed the problem.

At the end of the day, we sat down to ‘review’ this narrowly avoided catastrophe. She sat there quivering with nerves as I started, very calmly to talk through what had happened and what we could learn from it. After about 5 minutes she couldn’t stand it any longer and blurted out:
"I messed up. We both know it. Any NORMAL person would have got angry and shouted at me. But not you. You are such a COLD FISH! it’s impossible to work with you!"

The NVC Way

Discovering NVC brought me huge relief and the discovery I have 4 ways to hear any insult or difficult message. On hearing from my assistant that I am not normal and am, in fact, a cold fish, I could have reacted with one or more of the following:

1 Attack Her

"How dare you criticize me? It was you that screwed up, not me! You’re completely incompetent and if I hadn’t stayed cool, calm and collected there’s no way we’d have recovered from the mess you caused. I’m not cold! I’m in control and that’s what a good manager needs to be, especially with someone as useless as you are! Grrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!"

I suspect both of us would have ended up worse off with this approach. But isn’t this pretty common? After all, attack is apparently the best form of defense.

2 Attack Myself

[Inner dialogue] She’s absolutely right. Any one with balls would have at least raised their voice. What a weak, cowardly person I am. I’ll never make it as a manager â€" she needs strong, assertive leadership and not a punch bag. Not only that, I’m devoid of emotion generally. Nothing affects me. Am I dead?

This was what I did at the time. Fortunately, I managed to transform it later as it didn’t help my self-esteem too much.

3 Listen to Myself

[Inner dialogue] I’ve not heard anyone say that before and I don’t like hearing it. I’m confused and not sure if she’s talking only about this situation or about working with me in general. I’d like to be understood that I was trying my best to solve the problem and I really care about this work. I’d also like her to hear that I care about her and I don’t consider losing my cool to be respectful.

With this self-empathy I’m neither agreeing nor disagreeing, but wanting to connect with myself. When I open into an enquiring frame, I might discover something useful about myself in her feedback. What I’m trying to do is get in touch with my feelings and needs in response to what I heard

4 Listen to Her

"Wow, you seem really upset about this? Would you have liked to have done a great job and you’re feeling disappointed about what happened? Maybe you’re also looking for passion and energy in the work we do together? And also honest, direct feedback and communication?"

These guesses may be well wide of the mark but that doesn’t matter. With this empathic response, I’m with her and her reaction to what’s going on. I might even discover something about her and improve the quality of our relationship.

In Summary

NVC suggests 4 choices when hearing a difficult message:

• Attack the message giver
• Attack myself
• Listen to myself
• Listen to the message giver

It also suggests that the last two options are much more likely to be effective than the first two.

I’m not claiming it’s easy, and it requires skill and presence to choose these last two responses. I know that when I have chosen to hear an insult with empathy (either for myself or the other) it has always turned out to be the start of an important and meaningful exchange.
 

About the Author: Ian Peatey Ian Peatey is a Certified Trainer in Nonviolent Communication, based in Eastern Europe and with a particular interest in bringing the NVC approach into the business world. Find out more here or connect with him on Facebook and Twitter

Nonviolent Communication (NVC) is a way of communicating based on the work of Marshall B. Rosenberg, Phd.  He readily maintains he work is based on historical principles of nonviolence– the natural state of compassion when no violence is present in the heart. NVC reminds us what we already instinctively know about how good it feels to authentically connect to another human being.

“Fool” is such a loaded word, full of guilt and shame… and I often hear “How could I have been such a fool?”

We’ve all had that moment where we realize we’ve been taken advantage of, where we stop and say, “How could that have happened?”

So, why do we fall for a lie and can we spot a liar?  The short answer is, as in much of life, “It depends.”

The television show “Lie To Me” made spotting a liar seem a lot simpler than it really is. There are many telltale signs that someone is lying, except when the liar believes his or her own lie such as a sociopath or psychopath might.  This post is not about being taken in by a sociopath or psychopath.

Why do some people see it coming and others don’t? Given the stakes, it makes sense that trust would develop with time. It isn’t always about intelligence. Although, having specific expertise or knowledge does help you see the signs.  If you are an expert on a subject, finding a distortion or falsehood is easier, as in the case of a complex financial ruse.  Yet we don’t always operate from what makes cogitative sense.  We often trust based on emotion and later rationalize on biased logic.

What is it that you want? That is what you are vulnerable to.
[tweet me!]

For deception to work quickly, there has to be a benefit, often emotional, that gets a person to believe quickly…even if the benefit is “He/she likes me!” “Buy it now. It’s the last one,” or “If you don’t get it, someone else will.” A person’s perceived benefit varies with one’s life experience. The benefit has to be worthwhile to the listener but not so high as to be unbelievable.

The deception connection begins with a testing of your beliefs, and may include a little falsehood here and there to see how you react and where your boundaries are. This is where you as the listener might begin to feel that something isn’t right but people often work harder to dismiss those feelings than to prove or disprove what you have just heard and seen.

At its root, deception and lying are a cooperative act. If the deceiver is not believed, the lie has lost its power. Yet, most of us want to believe others.  We are motivated by the expectation of reciprocity along with social proof or group affinity. Social proof is often observable through the statement of “everyone else is doing it why shouldn’t (can’t) we?” An example of affinity is belonging to the same religious organization or charity. It can even occur when you like the same types of things.  For instance we may both have poodles, and I’m good so you must be good.  To the extreme, a professional con artist finds out you are a huge Star Trek fan, then they begin to casually drop in references to Kirk and Spock – bingo – at the subconscious level you begin to believe they are just like you, including trustworthy. 

On any given day we are deceived multiple times, from outright lies to little white lies to “No, those don’t make you look fat,” and the clues to detect deception can be subtle and counter-intuitive. Recent research reveals that the “verbal methods of deception detection are better than nonverbal methods” despite the common assumption that nonverbal detection methods are more valuable according to the Association for Psychological Science. So, throw your assumptions out the door, we can’t always spot the liar, howeversome of the telltale signs to watch for are:

• Liars tend to freeze their upper body and movements become jerky.  Touching their face, throat, hair or mouth instead of gesturing, especially with an open, up-facing palm is common.  Timing and duration of spontaneous gestures and expected emotions are out of synch.  For example: saying “yes” while shaking the head “no.” 

• Eye contact that is extreme.  Too much or too little eye contact are both telltale signs. They look you in the eyes too much as they have heard the old adage about looking you in the eyes indicating that they’re trustworthy. Too little eye contact is related to guilt or shame.
• A fake smile.  The crows feet of the eyes cannot be faked – the real smile is in the eyes and other muscles of the face. Emotions are often limited to mouth movements when someone is lying or faking. A tight-lipped grin or smirk as the lie is almost complete indicates that they subconsciously think they have gotten away with it.  They may also have an asymmetrical smile of contempt as a way of saying, “You’ve been dismissed.” It’s associated with moral superiority and is shown by one lip corner being pulled up and inward.  
• Attitude and emotions are big indicators – and often overlooked. The display of emotion is exaggerated, delayed, or is of extended duration, then suddenly stops without a lasting facial quiver or micro-expressions. A long pause or repeating the question is an effort to stall for time to think.
• Too much irrelevant detail and strict chronological detail or a mismatch in language. They are willing to cooperate, willing to brainstorm and are happy to change the subject. May try righteous indignation, harsh humor or teasing if challenged.  They tend to use very formal language such as “I was not there” instead of “I wasn’t there.”  They may also use distancing language such as “I did not have sex with that woman,” instead of I didn’t have sex with her. Qualifying language such as “To tell you the truth,” “In all candor,” or “You know what I’m talking about,” are all signs that someone is trying to convince you they are telling the truth. You have to ask yourself, why are they trying so hard?

The above five signs are just part of a long list of possible ways to spot deception or an incomplete truth. Too many people discredit their own emotional / intuitive guide. Trust those gut feelings. The above tips should be viewed as red flags and when each are seen as a single movement or statement, they are not proof of deception. It’s the entire message along with a cluster of behaviors that are more important than someone who is uncomfortable with eye contact, for example.

Do You Feel There IS TOO Much Conflict In Your Workplace? Upcoming Webinar

Deception can cause conflict. On April 24th I’m teaming up with Dorothy Tannahill Moran, Career Development Coach and Advisor from http://nextchapternewlife.com/ on defusing workplace conflict through what you say and how you say it. 

Dorothy has opened the doors for my community to join in our webinar: Courage under Fire: How to Defuse Conflict in the Workplace, so please join us at https://www3.gotomeeting.com/register/665942038 presented on April 24 8:30 eastern.

No foolin’ here either. I’d love to get to know you – let’s talk. NO SALES!  Please just comment below and we’ll get the process started. I so look forward to learning about you, what you do and your struggles and visions for helping to change the world…

Have a great day whatever your adventure – keep smiling

To Success! To Life!

Sharon

If you would like to use this article be sure and add this resource information:
As a behavioral communications expert and founder of Competitive Edge Communications, I help high performing executives become confident communicators and leaders. They learn to enhance their natural charisma through developing their verbal and body language messages to quickly influence, inspire and persuade. www.SharonSayler.com
©2012 Competitive Edge Communications

You don’t realize how important some things are until you stop doing them – take breathing for instance…. Breathing seems natural enough, we do it on ‘auto-pilot’ — thank goodness! Can you imagine what it would be like if you had to remind yourself to breathe in, breathe out?

Yet, is your breathing auto-pilot working correctly?

Rushing around, “never catching your breath,” takes its toll, both mentally and physically. We often hold our breath and don’t even know we are doing it. Take a moment, right now, throw your arms open wide to expand your rib cage and take several full, complete breaths. Notice how your mood instantly changes? Presto, just like magic.

“Never catching your breath,” also known as breathing rapid and shallow (or high) seems to be the current state of most people’s auto-pilot. Shallow breathing only fills the upper chest area. When you breathe in using only one-third to one-half of the true or natural capacity, the result is that you are not getting the required oxygen to have both the mind and body function properly. The result is stress and tension increase in the body and your thinking can become hazy or muddled.  It doesn’t take too many rapid breaths to have both physical and mental effects.

The Not-So-Obivous Effects of Breathing

Besides stress and tension, hyperventilation, or turning blue and passing out, the negative effects of breathing rapid or shallow include a prolonged state of fight-or-flight. The constant release of fight-or-flight chemicals keeps you feeling as though you are under continuous assault or threat.

The fight-or-flight response is your hard-wired early warning system, designed to alert you to external threats. It not only warns us of real danger but also the mere perception of danger and can be a major factor in BURN-OUT! .

Although often consciously unaware of this perception, the message breathing high (shallow) sends to others is anger, danger, be afraid, or some other form of distress. When you’re breathing rapidly, others not only wonder if you are okay, but also they unconsciously worry about their own safety.

Breathing patterns are contagious; take care not to let yourself be affected by another person’s high, shallow or rapid breathing. Your breathing patterns and emotions are intertwined. Rapid breathing and the chemical changes that follow will also stop you from fully experiencing traumatic emotions all at one time – a benefit during crisis.

In short, your breathing pattern can change your emotional state and vice versa.  

Do a little experiment. Quickly sniff (short rapid inhales through the nose) ten times. What are you feeling right now? Most people feel a twinge of anxiety or anxiousness. That is the beginning of the fight-or-flight response.

The Way Nature Intended

Take a moment to observe how you are breathing right now. Low abdominal breathing is the natural pattern in normal situations. The purpose of consciously breathing with long, slow, deep abdominal breaths is to bring the carbon dioxide and oxygen levels back into balance. It does not take too many rapid breaths to get your body’s carbon dioxide-oxygen level out of balance. Remind yourself to breathe with natural and comfortable breaths when confronted by stressful situations. The increase in oxygen will decrease your anxiety and soothe your nerves. Breathing low is full and deep. It could also be called “complete breathing” as even the belly area expands. This type of breathing actually relaxes the body and helps clear a foggy mind.

While sitting quietly, place one hand on your abdomen and the other on your upper chest, and monitor how deeply and completely you are really breathing even at rest. Count the number of cycles you breathe in and out per minute. An inhalation, pause, exhalation and pause make one cycle. A normal inhalation and exhalation cycle occurs twelve to fourteen times a minute when awake, and six to eight times a minute while asleep.

Monitor your breathing from time to time to make sure your breathing is sending a message to both yourself and others of being confident and comfortable.

Enjoying the adventure
To Success! To Life!
Sharon

P.S. There are many experts on stress reduction and all are valuable for our long term health. Seek out professional stress reduction help when necessary.

Today’s guest expert, International Productivity Expert Athenée Mastrangelo, from www.ActionChaos.com shares with us the 5 steps for running an effective meeting. I don’t know about you, but nothing makes my eyes roll faster and farther into my head than meetings than just drag on and on….

Are you running effective meetings?

Don’t you just love spending your time in meetings?  Yeah right, we all despise them – they’re boring and usually take way too long, but more importantly most of the time we leave a meeting having accomplished nothing significant.

Before scheduling your next meeting ask yourself:

• Is this a one- or two-way information sharing meeting, if it’s a one-way just send out an email
• Rather than having an onsite meeting, use an online workspace to collaborate on your project

And if you still think you need to hold that meeting check out the following 5 Steps.

5 Steps to Running an Effective Meeting

1.  Laser Focus your Meeting

Before even scheduling a meeting, get really clear on the purpose or desired outcome of your meeting.  Think with the end in mind.  At the end of the meeting you want attendees to do ….  You need answers to …  Have scheduled dates for…

Once you know your desired outcome you’re ready for Step 2.

2.  Have an Agenda in Place

Hold more effective meetings by having an agenda in place to make sure you keep everyone focused on your objectives of the meeting.  In the next section we’ll show you a sample of a meeting template, feel free to use it and adjust to your meeting needs.

Share your agenda with all the attendees prior to your meeting, giving them a chance to prepare for the meeting.

Save our paper, money, and our planet:  Most of us have a laptop, iPad, or tablet – use it at the meeting!  Please ask your team not to print out the agenda unless really necessary.

3.  Start & End on Time

"The cost of a minute. If you earn $50,000/year, it’s about fifty cents. Waiting ten minutes for someone costs $5.00. If ten people at a meeting are waiting ten minutes for someone, that’s $50."  ~Harold Taylor

Here’s another big complaint:  Meetings not starting on time.  This can be due to lack of preparation or other attendees showing up late.  Be prepared and start on time!  You snooze you lose:  If attendees show up late, don’t go back and repeat what you have already covered – this will only set back your meeting.

Now that you’ve started on time, keep your meeting on track (Step 4) so you can end your meeting on time – everyone will thank you for it at the end!

4.  Stay on Track

When you set up your meeting agenda allocate time to each section/topic of your meeting.  Make sure to respect that time, therefore making sure you stay on track and on time.  If you keep to the plan they will respect and honor it for future meetings.

5.  Have a Leader

Every meeting must have one person who is in charge. This person must have the power to call the meeting, manage the meeting, and make sure that discussions remain relevant to the topic at hand.

It’s also helpful to have a Timer, someone who makes sure you stay on track time-wise.  You should also assign someone to take notes during the meeting.  They need to be in charge of sending out the meeting notes to all attendees shortly after the meeting ends.

Save Time with a Meeting Template

Here’s the sample meeting agenda we promised:

Meeting:  [Topic]

Day/Time:  [Day & Time]
Location:   [Meeting Room 1]

Attendees:
    •    [Attendee 1]
    •    [Attendee 2]
    •    [Attendee 3]

Agenda:
    •    10 minutes: [Agenda item A]
    •    10 minutes: [Agenda item B]
    •    15 minutes: [Agenda item C]
    •    10 minutes: Wrap-up and Action review

Action Items:
    •    [Action item 1 - Attendee(s) responsible]
    •    [Action item 2 - Attendee(s) responsible]
    •    [Action item 3 - Attendee(s) responsible]

Notes:
Additional notes and discussions

======

Thank you Athenée for saving us from ‘death’ by meeting or committee.

Enjoying the Adventure in and out of meetings.

To Success! To Life!

Sharon

About the Author: Athenée Mastrangelo Athenée Mastrangelo is an International Productivity Expert and is focused on personal & team productivity as well as working in the cloud.  Find out more here or connect with her on Facebook and LinkedIn

I was recently reading an article on the differences between extrovert and introvert. As a self-proclaimed word-nerd, I was stunned at how this ‘expert’ author, who shall remain nameless here, framed the different distinctions. If one looks carefully at the word choices, it appears the author has a preference.  Here are two examples:

Notice how the words ‘open and need’ and ‘easily and do not’ frame your opinion.  How does ‘open and talkative’ relate to ‘territory’? Is ‘territory’ a reference to personal space?  Define  ‘make versus do  not have friends’… Please….

Extrovert and Introvert are ‘shorthand labels’ used to describe our innate abilities and preferences to regulate our impulses, our resiliency, the way we choose to communicate and influence and our leadership style to name just a few. We can perpetuate the idea that introversion is a negative or we can choose to see the two different types for what they are: different, but not better or worse.

Words do change minds. Consider…

Even in my attempt to remain neutral, one could argue that I have framed a view of reality at its most basic level. 

As a writer, however we choose to frame a subject, it is imbued with persuasion, as all writing is an expression of ethical choices.
 

If You’re Serious About Doing The Work YOU LOVE, Creating Great Business and Personal Relationships and Feel Your Introvert Personality Is Holding You Back, This Is The Most Important Letter You Will Read This Year (And Maybe In Your Entire Life)…

What if you could learn to make YOUR SHYNESS AND INTROVERT STYLE actually work in your life?

Would you like to know how to turn your introverted style into a relationship magnet?

What is ‘it’ costing you? Are you tired of not being seen and you know it’s time to step out of the shadows?

Imagine if you could snap your fingers and OUT YOUR INNIE PERSONALITY — step up to BE SEEN, BE HEARD AND GET PAID!

You know, a lot has been happening in my life in the past two years since the release of my last book. I’d love to share with you what I’ve discovered by personally inviting you to a very special live 4-part web-workshop that I am teaching starting March 8th on how to conquer all of those nagging questions above and more, including how to confidently ask for what you want including ‘show me the money.’

Let me share an important, life-altering story with you.

Just a couple of years ago, I was happy being the lead coach for a big-name business guru. It fit my ‘INNIE personality’ just fine. Yet, there comes a point in your life, when you know what you know, you know you have too much to offer to stand in the shadows and you know it’s now or never to play that BIGGER GAME! 

IF YOU ARE READY TO NOT ACCEPT THE SHADOWS ANYMORE…

I want to make sure you got this opportunity to join me as we "Out Your Innie Personality" with the Introvert’s Guide To The Universe training at the no-excuses early bird price of $97 (Early-bird ends in just a few short hours at MIDNIGHT March 1.) 

——-

Hey, I know sometimes us "Innies" prefer not to be alone on an adventure which is weird since that is sorta what introvert means…and use price as an excuse…So in celebration of today – February 29th How about this??

BRING A FRIEND FOR JUST 29 more!!

http://introvertsguidetotheuniverse.com/IGUfriend

Use this exclusive link to bring you and your friend for just *$29-more* to The Introvert’s Guide To The Universe starting March 8th. 

——-

If You’re Serious About Doing The Work YOU LOVE, Creating Great Business and Personal Relationships and Feel Your Shyness and Introvert Personality Is Holding You Back, This Is The Most VALUABLE INFORMATION You Will Learn This Year (And Maybe In Your Entire Life)… I know, it changed mine!

Go here now – this is a special link just for the *$29-on-the-29th-special* The special bring a friend deal is disappearing soon so don’t wait.  (This link goes straight to getting you the best deal – you already know it’s time to step out of the shadows – come on out and play with me.)

http://introvertsguidetotheuniverse.com/IGUfriend

I’ve learned more than a few important skills as I struggled to overcome my shyness and introvert personality. One of the skills was learning to speak up and stay true to myself AND ASK FOR WHAT I WANTED including ‘show me the money’ without guilt, shame, or feelings of unworthiness!

I knew that I had something important to share with the world – that I change lives in a BIGGER WAY. Let me now help you change yours.

Another one of the big A-HAs was in Mastering My Mindset – in becoming aware of what was stopping me from pursuing my passion. Instead of "Why me?" isn’t it time to say "WHY NOT ME!!"

Let’s be honest, are you hiding just thinking about all that being shy and not speaking up has cost you?

What if you could ~

— Generate new clients or sales any time you need to boost your cash flow.

— Speak up and be taken seriously. Be HEARD and LISTENED TO.

— Meet people and know exactly how and what to talk about.

— Get promotions, network for success, have others see your brilliance.

— Confidently share what you do.

Enroll today so you too can create your own amazing adventure just like I have! Out Your Innie, Speak Up, Be Heard and Get Paid….

http://introvertsguidetotheuniverse.com/IGUfriend

Come Enjoy The Adventure With Me,

To Success! To Life!

Sharon

P.S. To get the special *$29-on-the-29th-special*bring a friend price use the link above my signature.

To read the course description go here:

http://introvertsguidetotheuniverse.com

P.P.S. Isn’t it time you stopped hiding in the shadows, stopped being the best kept secret on the block and learn how that will all change starting March 8th at

http://introvertsguidetotheuniverse.com

P.P.S. Is it for you? Got a question? Just hit reply and I’ll personally respond. That is how passionate I am about wanting you too to succeed!!

‘Fake It Until You Make It’ never works because FAKING IS FAKING, let me explain:

How you talk to yourself is directly reflected in your nonverbal communication. You can’t stop it; how you feel – such as feeling fake – comes through loud and clear…. You tell yourself to fake it and your mind does just that, IT FAKES IT.

Did you know that 90 to 95% of what we do comes from habit or the unconscious mind? That’s HUGE!  It’s necessary too. Imagine having to tell yourself having to breathe in – breathe out….

However, operating from the unconscious mind does become a problem when we are not getting the results we want and still keep doing the same thing! To paraphrase Einstein: Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

So doing the math, that leaves us using no more than 10% of our brainpower to consciously choose what we do. It’s sad, can you imagine how much more we could do and be successful at just by being even 1% more strategic? As a pilot, I know from flight training school that being 1% off on my flight path will cause me to end up in a whole different place – hopefully near an airport!  In flying, a 1% difference is not good, in striving for success it could make all the difference in the world!

You Can Use Body Language To Express Yourself But Faking An Emotion is Difficult

Body language that mirrors our thoughts and feelings has a spontaneous quality, that isn’t easily faked.  When you ‘act as if’ your thoughts and feelings are aligned, your intention is clear and your actions and behaviors flow with a spontaneous quality.

You can’t fake being happy or playful with your body language even though you show up with a smile. Being sad or unhappy will appear first in your inability to maintain sincere eye contact. Eye contact is an important aspect of social interaction, and it is something that many emotional or anxious people have difficulty with. It is the most consciously immediate non-verbal that people notice.

Your eyes give away your emotions such as pain, sadness, happiness or anger quickly. Often people with apprehension or emotional difficulty describe direct eye contact as anxiety-provoking or uncomfortable. The eyes really are the ‘window to the soul’ and your unconscious mind.

Be Careful What You Say To Yourself, You WILL Believe It…

A bit of background: Your thoughts, feelings and behaviors / actions are all combined in the unconscious mind and they flow from your beliefs. The unconscious mind is literal. It takes every word you say to yourself as fact.  If we say, "fake it," then that’s what it does! IT FAKES IT!  Imagine me saying, “Don’t think of a pink elephant.” What is in your mind right now even though I told you not to think about it?

If I can’t fake it and make it, how do I think and behave in a strategic way? ACT AS IF….

So if you’ve been told "fake it until you make it," it will never work because it will look fake! Your unconscious mind will do everything it can to make it look FAKE.  So how do I make my actions and behaviors – my nonverbal communication – not look fake? Since your actions and behaviors are tied to your thoughts and emotions, strategically chose the actions and behaviors you would like to use to get the result you want.

A simple way to Act As If is to choose someone you admire for a specific skill you would like to learn or adopt – then ACT AS IF you are them, doing that skill. Be that character,  it works every time.

Example:  My partner is an extrovert.  As such, he has no problem walking up to complete strangers that ‘look interesting’ and starting a conversation. So, when I’m not getting the results I want or I am talking myself out of meeting someone at a networking event I ask myself, "What would he do?" I then step into his shoes and act as if I’m him.  I know it might sound silly, but Act As If works….

Stepping into the ‘as if I am him’ mindset and using the skills I see him use has shown me how easy it is to use the tools that are needed in that situation. My unconscious mind, thoughts and feelings can no longer tell me I can’t do something, since I’ve already had the experience through Act As If.

In my coaching events, people are often amazed at how quickly their nonverbals including their voice patterns change, some even adopting accents without even working at it. When we set an intention to Act As If our unconscious adopts the movements / patterns / thoughts / emotions necessary to make it work.

Again, “Act As If” is not “fake it until you make it”.  Telling yourself to fake it is faking it. The brain knows the meaning of the word “fake” and it will make it look fake… so trash that model and always Act As If….

Please join me for more great tips and ideas on how to show up and shine.  If you haven’t already signed up, go to http://introvertsguidetotheuniverse.com and sign up now for my OUT YOUR INNIE 4-part webinar on skills to BE SEEN, BE HEARD and GET PAID!

I’ll leave you today with a quote from one of my favorite authors, Anais Nin: “We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.”

Enjoy the Adventure.

To Success! To Life!

Sharon

If You’re Serious About Doing The Work YOU LOVE, Creating Great Business and Personal Relationships and Feel Your Introvert Personality Is Holding You Back, This Is The Most Important Letter You Will Read This Year (And Maybe In Your Entire Life)…

• Are you interested in learning how to make YOUR SHYNESS AND INTROVERT STYLE actually work in your life?
• Are you serious about experiencing REAL partnerships in both your professional and private life – one where you are free to be who you are?
• Would you like to learn how to turn your introverted style into a relationship magnet? 
• If you would like to OUT YOUR INNIE PERSONALITY and step up to BE SEEN, BE HEARD AND GET PAID –  take your skills to the next level (or attract the right people in your life), then I’d like to invite you to a very special live 4-part web-workshop that I am teaching starting March 8th.

Dear Friend who is tired of being too INTROVERTED & SHY to step out of the shadows,

A lot has been happening in my life in the past two years since the release of my last book.

Let me share an important, life-altering story with you. 

Just a couple of years ago, I was happy being the lead coach for a big-name business ‘guru.’ It fit my ‘INNIE personality’ just fine. Yet, there comes a point in your life, when you know what you know, you know you have too much to offer to stand in the shadows and you know it’s now or never to play that BIGGER GAME!  

Not accepting the SHADOWS anymore…

Who would have ever thought I would be speaking to the Yale School of Management and other universities, corporations and associations around the world!  Me – the person that still gives a whole new meaning to the word introvert!

These past two years, since the launch of my book, I’ve learned more than a few important skills…. One of the skills was learning to speak up and stay true to myself; I knew that I had something important to share with the world – that I was and could change lives in a BIGGER WAY.

Another key element was in Mastering My Mindset….in becoming aware of what was stopping me from pursuing my passion – finding your gift and purpose in life and going after it so hard that nothing will stop you. 

Little did I know…
Just how important these two things would be to what was coming next for me…

Lately, I’ve been hearing, “How did you do it?”

Well, I’ve spent the last few months "reverse engineering" what I was doing so I could make sure that I can recreate media inquiries, rapport, networking and relationship success again and again, any time I want or need to boost my income.

There’s something you may not know about me….  

Years ago, when I launched my coaching business, I sat there thinking hope was a plan, getting one client here and one client there, but I knew that wasn’t enough.  So, when I had the opportunity to spend my time in the shadows of others, doing what I thought I did best I took it….

Yet it wasn’t enough! I have so much more to offer!! 

Back then, the thought of using public speaking, networking, interviews and heaven-forbid offering individual sales conversations made my stomach churn…

Yet, I forced, yes forced myself to do them and shockingly, as nervous as I was, I created paying clients. I reflect back to those days and laugh at all the stomachaches I had and errors I made, but I knew I was on to something. Through that experience I now know it doesn’t take force… It takes something else, it takes a step-by-step system.

If you shudder at the thought of speaking to a group, networking, or maybe OMG a one-to-one sales call, then the skills taught in “The Introvert’s Guide To The Universe OUT YOUR INNIE” web-workshop are the crucial ones you simply must master to grow your business, get that promotion, be seen and heard!

These are critical in your ability to
Step Up, Step Out and Be Seen and Heard and GET PAID!  

As I travel around the world, I see so many people, just like you, who are afraid to, unable to, frozen in their tracks to share their expertise to others including team members. It doesn’t have to be that way. 

Trust me, I know, I am INTROVERTED and SHY, I know what it’s like to question yourself.  Ask anyone that knows me well and they will tell you I give whole new meaning to the “I” (of Myers Briggs fame) for introverted. 

It’s true and I’M ALSO IRRATIONALLY PASSIONATE about helping others share their brilliance, get their message out and make the difference in the world they are meant to make!

Let’s be honest, are you hiding just thinking you are an introvert? 

What if you could ~ Generate new clients any time you need to boost your cash flow. Get what you want when you want it! Speak up and be taken seriously. Be HEARD and LISTENED TO. Grow your network with like-minded people. Sell more of your products and enroll people into your workshops. Meet people and know exactly how and what to talk about Get promotions, network for success, have team members see your brilliance. Discover the untapped potential in your relationship Confidently share what you do and the benefits of your service in a way that results in ideal, high-paying clients, a high percentage of the time

One ‘habit’ I’m here to reverse is that introverts, whether you label yourself a professional, executive or entrepreneur at ALL levels typically give away what you know, what you’ve spent a lifetime paying for and acquiring, yet as a result of “innie syndrome” or being too shy to ask, end up giving away tons of YOUR time and diminishing YOUR value in the process.

“…I did, in fact, use the handshake (method) with a new group in a member organization I belong to.  There were a few people I knew, but largely the group was new (or at least new to me).  Your approach worked like a charm!  It was fabulous having a very easy mental “flow chart” directing me what path to choose in speaking with them after a brief introduction…” 

~ Debbie Cason, Manager of Client Services, Macroeconomic Advisers

With “Introverts Guide To The Universe Success Secrets to OUT YOUR INNIE” formula and ALL of the BONUS Done-for-YOU checklists, templates, scripts and more you’ll have a PROVEN PLAN for getting out of your own way, getting out there, being seen, being heard, BEING ABLE TO TALK TO ANYONE, ANYWHERE, any time you desire and practically on demand, and most importantly get PAID!

The trick is to accomplish this without giving yourself away and to learn a natural approach that feels in harmony with your true caring nature… AND results in securing you what you want, whether it’s that promotion, gaining new clients consistently, or feeling free to speak up any time you desire.

Well, no more long letter, I think you get the idea that this 4-week LIVE (with me) web course will show you how to move out in a safe and natural way, all the while respecting your natural patterns.

Here’s just a sampling of what I’ll walk you through exactly how to do, step by step… IN DETAIL in this 4-part LIVE web course…

Class #1: MINDSET

“The 5 Top Ways Introverts Sabotage Their Success and How to STOP IT”

• Discover what works best for you, customized to fit YOU, your needs and your business, no matter where you’re at right now
• What you ALWAYS need to do to ensure you get what you want
• How to stop "wishing and praying" for people to inquire about your services
• What ONE action to avoid at all costs when networking, that will save you hours of your time and misspent energy
• How to know what’s stopping you and get back on track

"After just 15 minutes with Sharon I became clear on what I wanted out of a contract I was proposing. Thanks to her insight and ability to get me to recognize my needs in the transaction, I was able to nail thousands more to my contract that not only got the client what he wanted, but got me the work on the terms that worked for me. Thanks Sharon." ~ Jim Verzino

Class #2: WHAT TO SAY

“How To Create an Exciting, "I Want That" Conversation Anytime”

• My simple strategy for gaining clarity on what you do and how you add value to others’ lives. (This may sound funny, but we introverts tend to diminish our value far too often.)
• "How To Talk About Yourself to Set Yourself Up As The Expert You Are"
• The #1 mistake most introverts make that sinks success nearly every time
• Word-for-Word, what to ask so that your prospective client immediately sees the value of what you’re offering, no matter what type of business you’re in (yes, this also works brilliantly if you’re offering "softer" services such as healing)
• How to easily and confidently melt away fear, anxiety and nerves, freeing you to focus on building a positive relationship, right from the start

“Never have I been made so aware of precisely who I am and the countenance I present when communicating at a professional level, with immediate effect my life changed and significantly for the better. There are other coaches and techniques but none stand by comparison to the teaching of Sharon!” ~ Efrat Cohen L.P.I., C.I.T.R.M.S, President Global Intelligence Consultants

Class #3: DELIVERY

“Step by Step, How to Confidently Showcase the BEST YOU Through Nonverbal Communication”

• My step-by-step template outlining EXACTLY what to do to match what you learn from Session Two “What to say — and when — during any conversation to remove all of the guesswork and any ‘what if’s’ so you can focus on the relationship”
• The #1 crucial step you must take that eliminates any need to "sell yourself or others," freeing you up to be confident and in your authentic power
• How to “See IT Coming” (BEFORE the critical moment), what ONE action you must be ready to take to ensure you can confidently handle any concerns or conflicts, that actually results in strengthening your relationships

"I have become more aware of my body language and now consciously try to correct myself with your useful tips. You have impacted me much more than you may have realized. I really feel as if you have helped guide me towards a better career path that is aligned with my ultimate goal; owning a wellness retreat. Thank you again!" ~ Naomi Mariano

Class #4: CARE AND FEEDING OF YOUR INNER INTROVERT

"How to Keep Going, Generating Consistent Success and Paydays, Month After Month"

• My simple planning secrets to using your new skills to smooth out AND increase your confidence and cash flow, month after month, giving you a feeling of security and clarity
• And, at a glance, how to know exactly what’s paying off for you, and how to spot when you might need to do any "course corrections" to ensure you’re maximizing your opportunities

BONUS "Q&A" Call LIVE with Sharon

Once again you’ll be LIVE on the phone with me as I answer your questions. Can’t make the live call? No problem: simply post your question on a special group page we’ve created just for this LIVE web course. I’ll answer as many of the posted questions as is possible, which means that could include yours!

PLUS… These Awesome BONUSES:

• Complete Audio Recordings of the Entire “Introvert’s Guide To the Universe Success Secrets” Web Course Series. Can’t make a live call or simply want to hear a call again to pick up even more information? Call recordings are conveniently posted on a secure web page within 24 hours so you can download to your favorite listening device. Perfect for listening to again and again!     
• Transcriptions of each call – for you to refer to again and again. 
• Downloadable Forms and Checklists. You get downloadable access to ALL of the Done-for-You checklists, templates, scripts and forms.

“Yes, Sharon count me in for ‘Introvert’s Guide To the Universe Success Secrets’ Web Course 4-part Training Series!”

Here’s a recap of exactly what you receive when you invest in this exciting and timely “Introvert’s Guide To the Universe Success Secrets” Web Course Series:

• 4 training calls, each about 60 minutes long, taught personally by Sharon Sayler (LIVE, these are not prerecorded)
• Transcriptions of each call for you to download to refer to again and again
• PDF course notes, checklists, scripts and tip lists – you’ll be able to download these prior to each of the 4 training calls so you can follow along
• 1 LIVE 90-minute Q&A call, where you have the opportunity to have your own questions answered personally by Sharon

•   MP3 audios of all 5 calls – these will be accessible the day after each call, in case you miss a call or want to hear any call again
• All BONUS including the time-saving templates, checklists and forms (so cool!)

You can see I’m making this easy for you to succeed!

And best of all, this course is available at one of the LOWEST prices I’ve ever offered. You can’t use “can’t afford it” as an excuse! 

I’m doing this because knowing how to BE SEEN and BE HEARD, how to get past nerves, stage-fright and fear is what Introvert’s Guide to the Universe is all about and you will leave with the CRUCIAL SKILLS you simply must have to grow your business, get promoted, and simply master your life.

The course investment is only $97 IF you register by MIDNIGHT, MARCH 1. After that, this early-bird savings will DISAPPEAR and the web course will go up to $197. Let’s be honest here: at only $97, even just one secret that gets you a client, gets you a sales call, or gets you seen by upper management can easily pay for itself with the ridiculously low investment in this training course.

So, are you ready to stop hiding in the shadows hoping to be seen, stop giving away your expertise and time and to start making great money with comfort and ease?

The first call in the course starts on Thursday, March 8 so don’t delay, reserve your spot here, totally RISK FREE.  I promise this course will be WELL WORTH your time and modest investment. You can do this! I KNOW YOU CAN.

My "Happy" Guarantee!

I want you to be MORE than satisfied with the information I share. So if by the end of the SECOND CALL of this web-course you’re not 100% thrilled with the information provided – just let me know and I’ll arrange to refund your money back and remove you from the program. You have my word on it!

"Yes Sharon, I’m ready!”

Just $97

Let’s enjoy the adventure together.

To Success! To Life!
Sharon Sayler
  
P.S. For your convenience, here is our class schedule. Can’t make the calls live? No worries — each call is recorded, transcribed and posted in a secure area for you to access (recordings are available within 24 hours), along with all the handouts.

This is your moment to register — click the BIG RED REGISTER BUTTON to do so now!

• Thursday, March 8
• Thursday, March 15
• Thursday, March 22
• Thursday, March 29
• Bonus Q&A Call: Thursday, April 12
   

 
Introvert’s Guide to the Universe
© Copyright 2012 Sharon Sayler