mp3 of my Sept 1, 2010 appearance on Gab With the Gurus With Connie Bennett: Get motivated, empowered & intrigued by inspiring celebrities, bestselling authors and experts ("gurus") in the fields of social networking, health, fitness, Law of Attraction, personal empowerment, relationships and blogging.
 

You know body language can affect personal relationships, but have you stopped to consider how it and other non-verbal communication can affect your sales results and your relationships with clients? People respond on a primal level to how you say and do things, says Sharon Sayler, author of the new book What Your Body Says,(and how to master the message) so it's important you do things that draw people to you, not push them away.

"I think the number one thing people don't think about in conversations is their breathing. If we're breathing high and very nervous in a situation, people will wonder why. They'll think, 'Are we in danger and nobody has told me? Should I be cautious?' So if we're breathing anxiously or nervously when we first meet someone, they're set up to be on guard."

Listen as Sharon talks about the other big non-verbal mistake people make, gives examples in which negative body language affected business interactions, and outlines how to use non-verbal communication to make people feel good about you and want to do business with you.

Click here to listen to this 20 minute podcast:  Rain Today's Interview with Sharon Sayler

Imagine this scenario: You are up on stage, being introduced, it’s your time, your moment to shine. And in a fleeting moment of panic, you realize, now what do I do with my hands as I stand here listening to this amazing introduction about me? 

	Your forearms waist-high in front of your body, wrists at the same height as the elbows so that the forearms are parallel to the ground. Hands can be gently clasped together or in a downward steeple gesture where fingertips touch, (while it may be tempting to do, avoid playing with rings or bracelets).
	Your arms straight down by your sides. This one is physically the most natural, yet often the most uncomfortable to do. I often hear, “It feels like I’m standing at attention.” It won’t look that way unless you lock your knees. So, loosen up the stance a bit and try the arms down by your sides.
	The combination of one forearm waist-high in front of your body, with the wrist at the same height as the elbow and the other arm down to your side—think weatherperson pose—this is an excellent stance of confidence.

To display self-confidence at all times, pay attention to what you do with those darn hands. Other nonverbal that display self-confidence are good posture. Stand tall. No slouching, not only do you look defeated when slouching, you can't breathe well. Comfortable, natural breathing is a key nonverbal that shows we are confident with who we are. Breathe slowly and deeply. Move with assurance. Watch for any fidgets or nervous gestures, such as twirling rings or playing with your clothes…. Smile, put those hands in one of the three self-confident positions, make good eye contact and shine in your moment.

Learn more about positive gestures of expectation and influence in Sharon Sayler’s latest book What Your Body Says (and how to master the message). 

Excerpts from What Your Body Says (and how to master the message)

“When it comes to inspiring and influencing others, we can say all the right words, but if our nonverbal postures send a different message, that is what others will understand and take away.”

“We often revert to our innate baseline behaviors when we’re under stress, which compromises our ability to communicate effectively. When we are tense, our nonverbals can send confusing signals. That’s when we are more likely to misunderstand other people and lapse into unhelpful patterns of behavior. It often helps to take a break to relax and breathe when managing our own baseline behaviors during stressful periods. It is a highly skilled leader who can maintain learned nonverbal baseline behaviors that reflect self-confidence, even under strained situations.”

Sharon Sayler, MBA, is a Communications Success Strategist who trains professionals on how to become stronger, more influential communicators and leaders. She teaches people how to communicate with confidence and clarity by matching their body language to what their mouth is saying.

Sharon's new book What Your Body Says (and how to master the message) teaches business leaders and communicators how to make their body match what their mouth is saying. www.WhatYourBodySays.com



 

When we use only words to communicate, we make it necessary for our audience to pay very close attention to what we say. Consider using intentional hand gestures to add a visual to what you are saying. They support your message and keep the listener fully engaged. Intentional hand gestures —

• Create an emotional response for both you and the listener;
• Develop an emotional attachment to the message;
• Determine how the listener will respond;
• Enhance long-term memory retention of subject.

For example, let’s say that you are beginning the monthly team meeting by going over the agenda. “Before we begin, let’s review today’s agenda. We have five major points to cover today.”

In this statement, five major points is the area to emphasize with a corresponding intentional gesture. Use a gesture the audience is already familiar with to enhance clarity and comfort. Since you want the audience to remember five, hold up your arm to mimic the old right-turn signal. Then emphasize, “Number one, we need to cover the sales report,” with a gesture to indicate number one with one of your fingers going up. Number two, we will review budgets. (Indicate with a second finger going up.) And so on.

The gestures add a visual reminder aiding the listener’s long-term memory that often saves you from having to repeat yourself. A curious side effect of counting nonverbally is that the audience remembers which finger is the sales report and which finger is the budget. They often use the same fingers in recounting the message to someone else.

Using intentional hand gestures “that teach” like counting on your fingers to stress important points works for large audiences, small groups (eight or fewer), and one-to-one communication. You’ll want to lessen the intensity of the gesture when speaking to eight or fewer people. To do this, simply make the gesture smaller or closer to your body. For example, when stating, “We need to cover five major points in today’s meeting,” there is no need for the larger gesture of raising the arm. Simply raise your hand by bending only at the elbow, like a princess wave. (The counting on the fingers can remain the same.)
Using gestures when giving directions or teaching makes the audience less dependent on the verbal part of the presentation. The visual reminder created by gestures allows the listener two ways to remember: auditory and visual. It thereby increases the likelihood of accurate recall.

Gestures that teach can teach anything, even proper conduct. If you want the audience to raise their hands before asking questions, teach them nonverbally that raising their hands is the protocol. As you ask questions, raise your arm and slightly turn your hand back and forth while you ask a question, such as “Who is from out of town?”

Look for other cues and signals that already have the meaning you are seeking when you use intentional gestures. It makes getting the true meaning of your message so much easier.
 

Learn how your body language could be inadvertently destroying your direct sales success!
Do any of these sound familiar in your direct sales business?

— Getting up to share your products, your passion and purpose makes you weak in the knees

— Every time you try to close the sale or book a party you feel “pushy”

— You know WHAT to say, just not HOW to get your ideas and products taken seriously…

If you answered “yes” to any of the above questions, then join Holly Chantal and Sharon Sayler  on June 30th at 1pm eastern for ways to magically transform interested prospects into invested hostesses and recruits on-the-spot and leave both you and them feeling good about it with simple, easy to use nonverbal techniques from Sharon’s new book What Your Body Says (and how to master the message).

Got to http://www.blogtalkradio.com/streamlinedsuccess to set up a reminder or listen in!

1. A name creates contrast – an Old Brain tool that makes decisions easy.
2. A name creates exclusivity (I have it, you don’t.)
3. A name creates a community – (Want to hang with the In crowd”)
4. A name creates a seductive gap between you and others – essential for creating desire.  (If you had this you’d be happier/richer/healthier/smarter/etc.)
5. A good name should be either exotic or simple street language – another Old Brain favorite.  (Makes you feel comfortable – or – chic, cool, savvy)
6. A great name is visual – most brains process visually.
7. A great name contains the transformation that occurs. (Volumizer, Pampers)
8. A name is proprietary – name it and you claim it.  Forever!  (ask Steve Jobs)
9. A great name stimulates “gotta have it” emotion – essential!

Notice how many ultra-successful entrepreneurs NAME their systems and programs.

— 6-Figure Teleseminar Secrets – Lisa Sasevich
— Big Mission, Big Sales – Lisa Sasevich
— The Millionaire Protégé Club – Ali Brown
— The Invisible Close – Lisa Sasevich
— How to Charge What You’re Worth and Get It – Kendall Summerhawk
— Life on Your Terms – Anthony (Tony) Robbins
— The Ultimate Edge – Anthony (Tony) Robbins
— Ring of Fire Coaching Club – Howie Jacobson
— Simplifying and Demystifying New Media So You Can Profit from It – Sherman Hu
— Instant Wealth-Wake Up Rich! — Christopher Howard
— Chicken Soup for the Soul – Mark Victor Hansen

Why create a powerful, emotion-driven, trigger word, high-contrast name?  So more people will want what you have, urgently.  And you can charge more for it.
 

Thanks Ann, you are so right about the names we select.

Have a great day whatever your adventure

Sharon

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About Ann: Ann Convery’s clients generate up to thousands of dollars in business within weeks with her popular program “You’re So Brilliant!  Why Don’t They Buy?”  Ann is an international speaker, trainer and author who has delivered trainings in Barcelona, Madrid, Mexico City, and across the  U.S.  She has been interviewed in The Los Angeles Times, Elle, ABC-TV, Woman's Day, Entrepreneur and other media.  For more information, see www.youresobrilliant.com and  www.annconvery.com