LISTEN IN HERE!

IT’S ALL ABOUT BEING BOLD!

First, we will explore the ways we sabotage our success. Many entrepreneurs have an idea of what it takes, technically, to grow their business. Where most of us get stuck is in their own head! It’s critical that you start to develop your OWN thinking! Trust me,  it’s a priority.

The first half of the show we learn the 7 Steps to Growing Your Business so You Can Make More Money! With Pat Mussieux, founder of Wealthy Women Leaders (http://www.wealthywomenleaders.com.) Pat supports/trains women entrepreneurs how to attract clients, make money and achieve financial freedom.

Pat will be sharing us:

• The 4 most common barriers to growing your business
• The 7 simple steps to getting past those barriers so you can start making money TODAY!
• Her #1 SECRET strategy to get out of your own way
• And action steps to implement right away!

As if that isn’t enough, we have Ann Thomas, Esq., CPCC an author, healer,  (www.EvolvingGoddess.com) and founder of the one-day, dynamic-change conference: BoldHer: Infuse Your Self-Confidence with Laughter & Love (www.BoldHer.com).

I’m such a fan of this conference that I am actually a sponsor and will be flying across country for the one-day event!! Ann will be joining us at the bottom of the hour to share How to Be Bold & Influential. During our time together with Ann she will share:

• Why true influence starts from the inside out
• The 3 key elements to becoming bold and influential
• How failing to master your inner game can cost you
• What you can do to deepen your boldness

Being bold is about  being able to blow your own horn. Speak up and share your knowledge and passion. Do you have trouble communicating your value? I know I used to. That one little ‘problem’ delayed my success for a long time.  And, I don’t even want to think about how much money it cost me.

Being able to talk about YOU, in a way that is relevant, is mission-critical whether you are a service professional, employee, executive or student.

And our sponsor for this debut show is Introvert’s Guide To The Universe.

We all have to talk about who we are and what we do in a confident and persuasive way and that’s where Introvert’s Guide To The Universe comes to the rescue.

I know the title makes it sound as if you have to be introverted or shy to attend this 6-part teleseminar event. Trust me, you don’t. If you need to get clarity on their message and the confidence to express it join me for the next session of Introvert’s Guide To The Universe starts Saturday May 12th, so no time to delay. Zip on over to http://introvertsguidetotheuniverse.com/ and join us. The next session is about to blastoff and you don’t want to be left behind, do you?

Wow, sounds like we better notch it up into high-gear, so fasten your seatbelt and join us live

May 9th at 1pm PDT / 4pm EDT.

LISTEN IN HERE!
Come enjoy the adventure!
To Success! To Life!
Sharon

“Fool” is such a loaded word, full of guilt and shame… and I often hear “How could I have been such a fool?”

We’ve all had that moment where we realize we’ve been taken advantage of, where we stop and say, “How could that have happened?”

So, why do we fall for a lie and can we spot a liar?  The short answer is, as in much of life, “It depends.”

The television show “Lie To Me” made spotting a liar seem a lot simpler than it really is. There are many telltale signs that someone is lying, except when the liar believes his or her own lie such as a sociopath or psychopath might.  This post is not about being taken in by a sociopath or psychopath.

Why do some people see it coming and others don’t? Given the stakes, it makes sense that trust would develop with time. It isn’t always about intelligence. Although, having specific expertise or knowledge does help you see the signs.  If you are an expert on a subject, finding a distortion or falsehood is easier, as in the case of a complex financial ruse.  Yet we don’t always operate from what makes cogitative sense.  We often trust based on emotion and later rationalize on biased logic.

What is it that you want? That is what you are vulnerable to.
[tweet me!]

For deception to work quickly, there has to be a benefit, often emotional, that gets a person to believe quickly…even if the benefit is “He/she likes me!” “Buy it now. It’s the last one,” or “If you don’t get it, someone else will.” A person’s perceived benefit varies with one’s life experience. The benefit has to be worthwhile to the listener but not so high as to be unbelievable.

The deception connection begins with a testing of your beliefs, and may include a little falsehood here and there to see how you react and where your boundaries are. This is where you as the listener might begin to feel that something isn’t right but people often work harder to dismiss those feelings than to prove or disprove what you have just heard and seen.

At its root, deception and lying are a cooperative act. If the deceiver is not believed, the lie has lost its power. Yet, most of us want to believe others.  We are motivated by the expectation of reciprocity along with social proof or group affinity. Social proof is often observable through the statement of “everyone else is doing it why shouldn’t (can’t) we?” An example of affinity is belonging to the same religious organization or charity. It can even occur when you like the same types of things.  For instance we may both have poodles, and I’m good so you must be good.  To the extreme, a professional con artist finds out you are a huge Star Trek fan, then they begin to casually drop in references to Kirk and Spock – bingo – at the subconscious level you begin to believe they are just like you, including trustworthy. 

On any given day we are deceived multiple times, from outright lies to little white lies to “No, those don’t make you look fat,” and the clues to detect deception can be subtle and counter-intuitive. Recent research reveals that the “verbal methods of deception detection are better than nonverbal methods” despite the common assumption that nonverbal detection methods are more valuable according to the Association for Psychological Science. So, throw your assumptions out the door, we can’t always spot the liar, howeversome of the telltale signs to watch for are:

• Liars tend to freeze their upper body and movements become jerky.  Touching their face, throat, hair or mouth instead of gesturing, especially with an open, up-facing palm is common.  Timing and duration of spontaneous gestures and expected emotions are out of synch.  For example: saying “yes” while shaking the head “no.” 

• Eye contact that is extreme.  Too much or too little eye contact are both telltale signs. They look you in the eyes too much as they have heard the old adage about looking you in the eyes indicating that they’re trustworthy. Too little eye contact is related to guilt or shame.
• A fake smile.  The crows feet of the eyes cannot be faked – the real smile is in the eyes and other muscles of the face. Emotions are often limited to mouth movements when someone is lying or faking. A tight-lipped grin or smirk as the lie is almost complete indicates that they subconsciously think they have gotten away with it.  They may also have an asymmetrical smile of contempt as a way of saying, “You’ve been dismissed.” It’s associated with moral superiority and is shown by one lip corner being pulled up and inward.  
• Attitude and emotions are big indicators – and often overlooked. The display of emotion is exaggerated, delayed, or is of extended duration, then suddenly stops without a lasting facial quiver or micro-expressions. A long pause or repeating the question is an effort to stall for time to think.
• Too much irrelevant detail and strict chronological detail or a mismatch in language. They are willing to cooperate, willing to brainstorm and are happy to change the subject. May try righteous indignation, harsh humor or teasing if challenged.  They tend to use very formal language such as “I was not there” instead of “I wasn’t there.”  They may also use distancing language such as “I did not have sex with that woman,” instead of I didn’t have sex with her. Qualifying language such as “To tell you the truth,” “In all candor,” or “You know what I’m talking about,” are all signs that someone is trying to convince you they are telling the truth. You have to ask yourself, why are they trying so hard?

The above five signs are just part of a long list of possible ways to spot deception or an incomplete truth. Too many people discredit their own emotional / intuitive guide. Trust those gut feelings. The above tips should be viewed as red flags and when each are seen as a single movement or statement, they are not proof of deception. It’s the entire message along with a cluster of behaviors that are more important than someone who is uncomfortable with eye contact, for example.

Do You Feel There IS TOO Much Conflict In Your Workplace? Upcoming Webinar

Deception can cause conflict. On April 24th I’m teaming up with Dorothy Tannahill Moran, Career Development Coach and Advisor from http://nextchapternewlife.com/ on defusing workplace conflict through what you say and how you say it. 

Dorothy has opened the doors for my community to join in our webinar: Courage under Fire: How to Defuse Conflict in the Workplace, so please join us at https://www3.gotomeeting.com/register/665942038 presented on April 24 8:30 eastern.

No foolin’ here either. I’d love to get to know you – let’s talk. NO SALES!  Please just comment below and we’ll get the process started. I so look forward to learning about you, what you do and your struggles and visions for helping to change the world…

Have a great day whatever your adventure – keep smiling

To Success! To Life!

Sharon

If you would like to use this article be sure and add this resource information:
As a behavioral communications expert and founder of Competitive Edge Communications, I help high performing executives become confident communicators and leaders. They learn to enhance their natural charisma through developing their verbal and body language messages to quickly influence, inspire and persuade. www.SharonSayler.com
©2012 Competitive Edge Communications

You don’t realize how important some things are until you stop doing them – take breathing for instance…. Breathing seems natural enough, we do it on ‘auto-pilot’ — thank goodness! Can you imagine what it would be like if you had to remind yourself to breathe in, breathe out?

Yet, is your breathing auto-pilot working correctly?

Rushing around, “never catching your breath,” takes its toll, both mentally and physically. We often hold our breath and don’t even know we are doing it. Take a moment, right now, throw your arms open wide to expand your rib cage and take several full, complete breaths. Notice how your mood instantly changes? Presto, just like magic.

“Never catching your breath,” also known as breathing rapid and shallow (or high) seems to be the current state of most people’s auto-pilot. Shallow breathing only fills the upper chest area. When you breathe in using only one-third to one-half of the true or natural capacity, the result is that you are not getting the required oxygen to have both the mind and body function properly. The result is stress and tension increase in the body and your thinking can become hazy or muddled.  It doesn’t take too many rapid breaths to have both physical and mental effects.

The Not-So-Obivous Effects of Breathing

Besides stress and tension, hyperventilation, or turning blue and passing out, the negative effects of breathing rapid or shallow include a prolonged state of fight-or-flight. The constant release of fight-or-flight chemicals keeps you feeling as though you are under continuous assault or threat.

The fight-or-flight response is your hard-wired early warning system, designed to alert you to external threats. It not only warns us of real danger but also the mere perception of danger and can be a major factor in BURN-OUT! .

Although often consciously unaware of this perception, the message breathing high (shallow) sends to others is anger, danger, be afraid, or some other form of distress. When you’re breathing rapidly, others not only wonder if you are okay, but also they unconsciously worry about their own safety.

Breathing patterns are contagious; take care not to let yourself be affected by another person’s high, shallow or rapid breathing. Your breathing patterns and emotions are intertwined. Rapid breathing and the chemical changes that follow will also stop you from fully experiencing traumatic emotions all at one time – a benefit during crisis.

In short, your breathing pattern can change your emotional state and vice versa.  

Do a little experiment. Quickly sniff (short rapid inhales through the nose) ten times. What are you feeling right now? Most people feel a twinge of anxiety or anxiousness. That is the beginning of the fight-or-flight response.

The Way Nature Intended

Take a moment to observe how you are breathing right now. Low abdominal breathing is the natural pattern in normal situations. The purpose of consciously breathing with long, slow, deep abdominal breaths is to bring the carbon dioxide and oxygen levels back into balance. It does not take too many rapid breaths to get your body’s carbon dioxide-oxygen level out of balance. Remind yourself to breathe with natural and comfortable breaths when confronted by stressful situations. The increase in oxygen will decrease your anxiety and soothe your nerves. Breathing low is full and deep. It could also be called “complete breathing” as even the belly area expands. This type of breathing actually relaxes the body and helps clear a foggy mind.

While sitting quietly, place one hand on your abdomen and the other on your upper chest, and monitor how deeply and completely you are really breathing even at rest. Count the number of cycles you breathe in and out per minute. An inhalation, pause, exhalation and pause make one cycle. A normal inhalation and exhalation cycle occurs twelve to fourteen times a minute when awake, and six to eight times a minute while asleep.

Monitor your breathing from time to time to make sure your breathing is sending a message to both yourself and others of being confident and comfortable.

Enjoying the adventure
To Success! To Life!
Sharon

P.S. There are many experts on stress reduction and all are valuable for our long term health. Seek out professional stress reduction help when necessary.

Today’s guest expert, International Productivity Expert Athenée Mastrangelo, from www.ActionChaos.com shares with us the 5 steps for running an effective meeting. I don’t know about you, but nothing makes my eyes roll faster and farther into my head than meetings than just drag on and on….

Are you running effective meetings?

Don’t you just love spending your time in meetings?  Yeah right, we all despise them – they’re boring and usually take way too long, but more importantly most of the time we leave a meeting having accomplished nothing significant.

Before scheduling your next meeting ask yourself:

• Is this a one- or two-way information sharing meeting, if it’s a one-way just send out an email
• Rather than having an onsite meeting, use an online workspace to collaborate on your project

And if you still think you need to hold that meeting check out the following 5 Steps.

5 Steps to Running an Effective Meeting

1.  Laser Focus your Meeting

Before even scheduling a meeting, get really clear on the purpose or desired outcome of your meeting.  Think with the end in mind.  At the end of the meeting you want attendees to do ….  You need answers to …  Have scheduled dates for…

Once you know your desired outcome you’re ready for Step 2.

2.  Have an Agenda in Place

Hold more effective meetings by having an agenda in place to make sure you keep everyone focused on your objectives of the meeting.  In the next section we’ll show you a sample of a meeting template, feel free to use it and adjust to your meeting needs.

Share your agenda with all the attendees prior to your meeting, giving them a chance to prepare for the meeting.

Save our paper, money, and our planet:  Most of us have a laptop, iPad, or tablet – use it at the meeting!  Please ask your team not to print out the agenda unless really necessary.

3.  Start & End on Time

"The cost of a minute. If you earn $50,000/year, it’s about fifty cents. Waiting ten minutes for someone costs $5.00. If ten people at a meeting are waiting ten minutes for someone, that’s $50."  ~Harold Taylor

Here’s another big complaint:  Meetings not starting on time.  This can be due to lack of preparation or other attendees showing up late.  Be prepared and start on time!  You snooze you lose:  If attendees show up late, don’t go back and repeat what you have already covered – this will only set back your meeting.

Now that you’ve started on time, keep your meeting on track (Step 4) so you can end your meeting on time – everyone will thank you for it at the end!

4.  Stay on Track

When you set up your meeting agenda allocate time to each section/topic of your meeting.  Make sure to respect that time, therefore making sure you stay on track and on time.  If you keep to the plan they will respect and honor it for future meetings.

5.  Have a Leader

Every meeting must have one person who is in charge. This person must have the power to call the meeting, manage the meeting, and make sure that discussions remain relevant to the topic at hand.

It’s also helpful to have a Timer, someone who makes sure you stay on track time-wise.  You should also assign someone to take notes during the meeting.  They need to be in charge of sending out the meeting notes to all attendees shortly after the meeting ends.

Save Time with a Meeting Template

Here’s the sample meeting agenda we promised:

Meeting:  [Topic]

Day/Time:  [Day & Time]
Location:   [Meeting Room 1]

Attendees:
    •    [Attendee 1]
    •    [Attendee 2]
    •    [Attendee 3]

Agenda:
    •    10 minutes: [Agenda item A]
    •    10 minutes: [Agenda item B]
    •    15 minutes: [Agenda item C]
    •    10 minutes: Wrap-up and Action review

Action Items:
    •    [Action item 1 - Attendee(s) responsible]
    •    [Action item 2 - Attendee(s) responsible]
    •    [Action item 3 - Attendee(s) responsible]

Notes:
Additional notes and discussions

======

Thank you Athenée for saving us from ‘death’ by meeting or committee.

Enjoying the Adventure in and out of meetings.

To Success! To Life!

Sharon

About the Author: Athenée Mastrangelo Athenée Mastrangelo is an International Productivity Expert and is focused on personal & team productivity as well as working in the cloud.  Find out more here or connect with her on Facebook and LinkedIn

If You’re Serious About Doing The Work YOU LOVE, Creating Great Business and Personal Relationships and Feel Your Introvert Personality Is Holding You Back, This Is The Most Important Letter You Will Read This Year (And Maybe In Your Entire Life)…

What if you could learn to make YOUR SHYNESS AND INTROVERT STYLE actually work in your life?

Would you like to know how to turn your introverted style into a relationship magnet?

What is ‘it’ costing you? Are you tired of not being seen and you know it’s time to step out of the shadows?

Imagine if you could snap your fingers and OUT YOUR INNIE PERSONALITY — step up to BE SEEN, BE HEARD AND GET PAID!

You know, a lot has been happening in my life in the past two years since the release of my last book. I’d love to share with you what I’ve discovered by personally inviting you to a very special live 4-part web-workshop that I am teaching starting March 8th on how to conquer all of those nagging questions above and more, including how to confidently ask for what you want including ‘show me the money.’

Let me share an important, life-altering story with you.

Just a couple of years ago, I was happy being the lead coach for a big-name business guru. It fit my ‘INNIE personality’ just fine. Yet, there comes a point in your life, when you know what you know, you know you have too much to offer to stand in the shadows and you know it’s now or never to play that BIGGER GAME! 

IF YOU ARE READY TO NOT ACCEPT THE SHADOWS ANYMORE…

I want to make sure you got this opportunity to join me as we "Out Your Innie Personality" with the Introvert’s Guide To The Universe training at the no-excuses early bird price of $97 (Early-bird ends in just a few short hours at MIDNIGHT March 1.) 

——-

Hey, I know sometimes us "Innies" prefer not to be alone on an adventure which is weird since that is sorta what introvert means…and use price as an excuse…So in celebration of today – February 29th How about this??

BRING A FRIEND FOR JUST 29 more!!

http://introvertsguidetotheuniverse.com/IGUfriend

Use this exclusive link to bring you and your friend for just *$29-more* to The Introvert’s Guide To The Universe starting March 8th. 

——-

If You’re Serious About Doing The Work YOU LOVE, Creating Great Business and Personal Relationships and Feel Your Shyness and Introvert Personality Is Holding You Back, This Is The Most VALUABLE INFORMATION You Will Learn This Year (And Maybe In Your Entire Life)… I know, it changed mine!

Go here now – this is a special link just for the *$29-on-the-29th-special* The special bring a friend deal is disappearing soon so don’t wait.  (This link goes straight to getting you the best deal – you already know it’s time to step out of the shadows – come on out and play with me.)

http://introvertsguidetotheuniverse.com/IGUfriend

I’ve learned more than a few important skills as I struggled to overcome my shyness and introvert personality. One of the skills was learning to speak up and stay true to myself AND ASK FOR WHAT I WANTED including ‘show me the money’ without guilt, shame, or feelings of unworthiness!

I knew that I had something important to share with the world – that I change lives in a BIGGER WAY. Let me now help you change yours.

Another one of the big A-HAs was in Mastering My Mindset – in becoming aware of what was stopping me from pursuing my passion. Instead of "Why me?" isn’t it time to say "WHY NOT ME!!"

Let’s be honest, are you hiding just thinking about all that being shy and not speaking up has cost you?

What if you could ~

— Generate new clients or sales any time you need to boost your cash flow.

— Speak up and be taken seriously. Be HEARD and LISTENED TO.

— Meet people and know exactly how and what to talk about.

— Get promotions, network for success, have others see your brilliance.

— Confidently share what you do.

Enroll today so you too can create your own amazing adventure just like I have! Out Your Innie, Speak Up, Be Heard and Get Paid….

http://introvertsguidetotheuniverse.com/IGUfriend

Come Enjoy The Adventure With Me,

To Success! To Life!

Sharon

P.S. To get the special *$29-on-the-29th-special*bring a friend price use the link above my signature.

To read the course description go here:

http://introvertsguidetotheuniverse.com

P.P.S. Isn’t it time you stopped hiding in the shadows, stopped being the best kept secret on the block and learn how that will all change starting March 8th at

http://introvertsguidetotheuniverse.com

P.P.S. Is it for you? Got a question? Just hit reply and I’ll personally respond. That is how passionate I am about wanting you too to succeed!!

If You’re Serious About Doing The Work YOU LOVE, Creating Great Business and Personal Relationships and Feel Your Introvert Personality Is Holding You Back, This Is The Most Important Letter You Will Read This Year (And Maybe In Your Entire Life)…

• Are you interested in learning how to make YOUR SHYNESS AND INTROVERT STYLE actually work in your life?
• Are you serious about experiencing REAL partnerships in both your professional and private life – one where you are free to be who you are?
• Would you like to learn how to turn your introverted style into a relationship magnet? 
• If you would like to OUT YOUR INNIE PERSONALITY and step up to BE SEEN, BE HEARD AND GET PAID –  take your skills to the next level (or attract the right people in your life), then I’d like to invite you to a very special live 4-part web-workshop that I am teaching starting March 8th.

Dear Friend who is tired of being too INTROVERTED & SHY to step out of the shadows,

A lot has been happening in my life in the past two years since the release of my last book.

Let me share an important, life-altering story with you. 

Just a couple of years ago, I was happy being the lead coach for a big-name business ‘guru.’ It fit my ‘INNIE personality’ just fine. Yet, there comes a point in your life, when you know what you know, you know you have too much to offer to stand in the shadows and you know it’s now or never to play that BIGGER GAME!  

Not accepting the SHADOWS anymore…

Who would have ever thought I would be speaking to the Yale School of Management and other universities, corporations and associations around the world!  Me – the person that still gives a whole new meaning to the word introvert!

These past two years, since the launch of my book, I’ve learned more than a few important skills…. One of the skills was learning to speak up and stay true to myself; I knew that I had something important to share with the world – that I was and could change lives in a BIGGER WAY.

Another key element was in Mastering My Mindset….in becoming aware of what was stopping me from pursuing my passion – finding your gift and purpose in life and going after it so hard that nothing will stop you. 

Little did I know…
Just how important these two things would be to what was coming next for me…

Lately, I’ve been hearing, “How did you do it?”

Well, I’ve spent the last few months "reverse engineering" what I was doing so I could make sure that I can recreate media inquiries, rapport, networking and relationship success again and again, any time I want or need to boost my income.

There’s something you may not know about me….  

Years ago, when I launched my coaching business, I sat there thinking hope was a plan, getting one client here and one client there, but I knew that wasn’t enough.  So, when I had the opportunity to spend my time in the shadows of others, doing what I thought I did best I took it….

Yet it wasn’t enough! I have so much more to offer!! 

Back then, the thought of using public speaking, networking, interviews and heaven-forbid offering individual sales conversations made my stomach churn…

Yet, I forced, yes forced myself to do them and shockingly, as nervous as I was, I created paying clients. I reflect back to those days and laugh at all the stomachaches I had and errors I made, but I knew I was on to something. Through that experience I now know it doesn’t take force… It takes something else, it takes a step-by-step system.

If you shudder at the thought of speaking to a group, networking, or maybe OMG a one-to-one sales call, then the skills taught in “The Introvert’s Guide To The Universe OUT YOUR INNIE” web-workshop are the crucial ones you simply must master to grow your business, get that promotion, be seen and heard!

These are critical in your ability to
Step Up, Step Out and Be Seen and Heard and GET PAID!  

As I travel around the world, I see so many people, just like you, who are afraid to, unable to, frozen in their tracks to share their expertise to others including team members. It doesn’t have to be that way. 

Trust me, I know, I am INTROVERTED and SHY, I know what it’s like to question yourself.  Ask anyone that knows me well and they will tell you I give whole new meaning to the “I” (of Myers Briggs fame) for introverted. 

It’s true and I’M ALSO IRRATIONALLY PASSIONATE about helping others share their brilliance, get their message out and make the difference in the world they are meant to make!

Let’s be honest, are you hiding just thinking you are an introvert? 

What if you could ~ Generate new clients any time you need to boost your cash flow. Get what you want when you want it! Speak up and be taken seriously. Be HEARD and LISTENED TO. Grow your network with like-minded people. Sell more of your products and enroll people into your workshops. Meet people and know exactly how and what to talk about Get promotions, network for success, have team members see your brilliance. Discover the untapped potential in your relationship Confidently share what you do and the benefits of your service in a way that results in ideal, high-paying clients, a high percentage of the time

One ‘habit’ I’m here to reverse is that introverts, whether you label yourself a professional, executive or entrepreneur at ALL levels typically give away what you know, what you’ve spent a lifetime paying for and acquiring, yet as a result of “innie syndrome” or being too shy to ask, end up giving away tons of YOUR time and diminishing YOUR value in the process.

“…I did, in fact, use the handshake (method) with a new group in a member organization I belong to.  There were a few people I knew, but largely the group was new (or at least new to me).  Your approach worked like a charm!  It was fabulous having a very easy mental “flow chart” directing me what path to choose in speaking with them after a brief introduction…” 

~ Debbie Cason, Manager of Client Services, Macroeconomic Advisers

With “Introverts Guide To The Universe Success Secrets to OUT YOUR INNIE” formula and ALL of the BONUS Done-for-YOU checklists, templates, scripts and more you’ll have a PROVEN PLAN for getting out of your own way, getting out there, being seen, being heard, BEING ABLE TO TALK TO ANYONE, ANYWHERE, any time you desire and practically on demand, and most importantly get PAID!

The trick is to accomplish this without giving yourself away and to learn a natural approach that feels in harmony with your true caring nature… AND results in securing you what you want, whether it’s that promotion, gaining new clients consistently, or feeling free to speak up any time you desire.

Well, no more long letter, I think you get the idea that this 4-week LIVE (with me) web course will show you how to move out in a safe and natural way, all the while respecting your natural patterns.

Here’s just a sampling of what I’ll walk you through exactly how to do, step by step… IN DETAIL in this 4-part LIVE web course…

Class #1: MINDSET

“The 5 Top Ways Introverts Sabotage Their Success and How to STOP IT”

• Discover what works best for you, customized to fit YOU, your needs and your business, no matter where you’re at right now
• What you ALWAYS need to do to ensure you get what you want
• How to stop "wishing and praying" for people to inquire about your services
• What ONE action to avoid at all costs when networking, that will save you hours of your time and misspent energy
• How to know what’s stopping you and get back on track

"After just 15 minutes with Sharon I became clear on what I wanted out of a contract I was proposing. Thanks to her insight and ability to get me to recognize my needs in the transaction, I was able to nail thousands more to my contract that not only got the client what he wanted, but got me the work on the terms that worked for me. Thanks Sharon." ~ Jim Verzino

Class #2: WHAT TO SAY

“How To Create an Exciting, "I Want That" Conversation Anytime”

• My simple strategy for gaining clarity on what you do and how you add value to others’ lives. (This may sound funny, but we introverts tend to diminish our value far too often.)
• "How To Talk About Yourself to Set Yourself Up As The Expert You Are"
• The #1 mistake most introverts make that sinks success nearly every time
• Word-for-Word, what to ask so that your prospective client immediately sees the value of what you’re offering, no matter what type of business you’re in (yes, this also works brilliantly if you’re offering "softer" services such as healing)
• How to easily and confidently melt away fear, anxiety and nerves, freeing you to focus on building a positive relationship, right from the start

“Never have I been made so aware of precisely who I am and the countenance I present when communicating at a professional level, with immediate effect my life changed and significantly for the better. There are other coaches and techniques but none stand by comparison to the teaching of Sharon!” ~ Efrat Cohen L.P.I., C.I.T.R.M.S, President Global Intelligence Consultants

Class #3: DELIVERY

“Step by Step, How to Confidently Showcase the BEST YOU Through Nonverbal Communication”

• My step-by-step template outlining EXACTLY what to do to match what you learn from Session Two “What to say — and when — during any conversation to remove all of the guesswork and any ‘what if’s’ so you can focus on the relationship”
• The #1 crucial step you must take that eliminates any need to "sell yourself or others," freeing you up to be confident and in your authentic power
• How to “See IT Coming” (BEFORE the critical moment), what ONE action you must be ready to take to ensure you can confidently handle any concerns or conflicts, that actually results in strengthening your relationships

"I have become more aware of my body language and now consciously try to correct myself with your useful tips. You have impacted me much more than you may have realized. I really feel as if you have helped guide me towards a better career path that is aligned with my ultimate goal; owning a wellness retreat. Thank you again!" ~ Naomi Mariano

Class #4: CARE AND FEEDING OF YOUR INNER INTROVERT

"How to Keep Going, Generating Consistent Success and Paydays, Month After Month"

• My simple planning secrets to using your new skills to smooth out AND increase your confidence and cash flow, month after month, giving you a feeling of security and clarity
• And, at a glance, how to know exactly what’s paying off for you, and how to spot when you might need to do any "course corrections" to ensure you’re maximizing your opportunities

BONUS "Q&A" Call LIVE with Sharon

Once again you’ll be LIVE on the phone with me as I answer your questions. Can’t make the live call? No problem: simply post your question on a special group page we’ve created just for this LIVE web course. I’ll answer as many of the posted questions as is possible, which means that could include yours!

PLUS… These Awesome BONUSES:

• Complete Audio Recordings of the Entire “Introvert’s Guide To the Universe Success Secrets” Web Course Series. Can’t make a live call or simply want to hear a call again to pick up even more information? Call recordings are conveniently posted on a secure web page within 24 hours so you can download to your favorite listening device. Perfect for listening to again and again!     
• Transcriptions of each call – for you to refer to again and again. 
• Downloadable Forms and Checklists. You get downloadable access to ALL of the Done-for-You checklists, templates, scripts and forms.

“Yes, Sharon count me in for ‘Introvert’s Guide To the Universe Success Secrets’ Web Course 4-part Training Series!”

Here’s a recap of exactly what you receive when you invest in this exciting and timely “Introvert’s Guide To the Universe Success Secrets” Web Course Series:

• 4 training calls, each about 60 minutes long, taught personally by Sharon Sayler (LIVE, these are not prerecorded)
• Transcriptions of each call for you to download to refer to again and again
• PDF course notes, checklists, scripts and tip lists – you’ll be able to download these prior to each of the 4 training calls so you can follow along
• 1 LIVE 90-minute Q&A call, where you have the opportunity to have your own questions answered personally by Sharon

•   MP3 audios of all 5 calls – these will be accessible the day after each call, in case you miss a call or want to hear any call again
• All BONUS including the time-saving templates, checklists and forms (so cool!)

You can see I’m making this easy for you to succeed!

And best of all, this course is available at one of the LOWEST prices I’ve ever offered. You can’t use “can’t afford it” as an excuse! 

I’m doing this because knowing how to BE SEEN and BE HEARD, how to get past nerves, stage-fright and fear is what Introvert’s Guide to the Universe is all about and you will leave with the CRUCIAL SKILLS you simply must have to grow your business, get promoted, and simply master your life.

The course investment is only $97 IF you register by MIDNIGHT, MARCH 1. After that, this early-bird savings will DISAPPEAR and the web course will go up to $197. Let’s be honest here: at only $97, even just one secret that gets you a client, gets you a sales call, or gets you seen by upper management can easily pay for itself with the ridiculously low investment in this training course.

So, are you ready to stop hiding in the shadows hoping to be seen, stop giving away your expertise and time and to start making great money with comfort and ease?

The first call in the course starts on Thursday, March 8 so don’t delay, reserve your spot here, totally RISK FREE.  I promise this course will be WELL WORTH your time and modest investment. You can do this! I KNOW YOU CAN.

My "Happy" Guarantee!

I want you to be MORE than satisfied with the information I share. So if by the end of the SECOND CALL of this web-course you’re not 100% thrilled with the information provided – just let me know and I’ll arrange to refund your money back and remove you from the program. You have my word on it!

"Yes Sharon, I’m ready!”

Just $97

Let’s enjoy the adventure together.

To Success! To Life!
Sharon Sayler
  
P.S. For your convenience, here is our class schedule. Can’t make the calls live? No worries — each call is recorded, transcribed and posted in a secure area for you to access (recordings are available within 24 hours), along with all the handouts.

This is your moment to register — click the BIG RED REGISTER BUTTON to do so now!

• Thursday, March 8
• Thursday, March 15
• Thursday, March 22
• Thursday, March 29
• Bonus Q&A Call: Thursday, April 12
   

 
Introvert’s Guide to the Universe
© Copyright 2012 Sharon Sayler  

Writing to you from seat 4C on my flight to JFK this morning. As I leave Miami’s 78F temperatures I’m not looking forward to the balmy 35F in NYC today….. Burrrr.  But, I’m on TV tonight and speaking at the Yale School of Management tomorrow, so off I go.

If you follow my blog much you know how often I’m popping here and there to speak about how understanding communication and the nonverbal signals we send will change your life. 

This morning before I hopped aboard I got this email from a screenwriter I worked with last week, “…Not to blow smoke but it REALLY WORKS!! You are a true artist of your craft. Look forward to seeing you again… Best, Raul.” Knowing that I have helped someone keeps me getting up at 5am to get on the next flight.

Sometimes we convince ourselves that something will never work or maybe you even say "…she can do it, but I never could…."

I’ve lost track of the number of times I hear at these events, “Oh Sharon, I couldn’t possibly do what you do, getting up and speaking in front of even a small group let alone a group this size.” 

My answer is B.S! My closest friends will tell you that I give new meaning to the words introverted and shy.

Three reasons it’s B.S.….

1. When your Why is more important than your ego, it becomes a mission to help people transform their lives.  See yesterday’s post if you need to get your Why.
2. Getting past the fear of public speaking is only accomplished by doing it. Once you have the experience the old gremlin of the unconscious mind can no longer tell you “you can’t do it.”  You just did it.  The gremlin may creep up again and say, “Oh that was just a fluke.” Force yourself to speak in public again and again if necessary. You keep getting better and better.
3. I’ve never had an audience want to see me fail. They didn’t come to see you crash and burn, they came to hear you give them what they want. I look at it this way, even in an audience of 1000 if I can give just one person the "A Ha" they were looking for then all my pre-show jitters were worth it.

So how do I get those butterflies flying in formation? 

Become a conscious master of your breathing.  Too many of us spend our days breathing high in the chest and rapid, constantly activating the fight or flight response. When fight or flight is constantly on, we feel exhausted.  There is no neutral when stuck in the cycle of high breathing.  Breathing completely, low, slow, and full “belly” is nature’s neutral.

Breathing, while natural, isn’t always easy to control. Just as your eyes respond automatically to emotional stimuli, so do changes in your breathing. Changing how you breathe in a situation is often reactive, not proactive. You can tell yourself to breathe low, full complete breaths as you go face the next audience; but the nervous system frequently takes over. Many times, you may not even be aware that your breathing has become rapid and shallow until you find yourself searching for words or feeling as though you can’t think clearly.

Breathing is more than supplying oxygen to your lungs; it profoundly influences your mood, how your brain functions, how sensitive your nerves are, and how tired or alert you feel. Breathing naturally and comfortably, no matter the situation, delivers a verbal and non-verbal message of confidence and poise.

Don’t believe me? Do a little experiment. Quickly sniff (short rapid inhales through the nose) ten times. What are you feeling right now?

Most people feel a twinge of anxiety or anxiousness. That is the beginning of the fight-or-flight response.  Proactively monitor your breathing to make sure your breathing is sending a message of being confident and comfortable.

Enjoy the Adventure
Sharon

p.s. To catch Coaches World TV sponsored by ICF-NYC tune in tonight at 8:00pm on the following channels:
    Time Warner Cable TV channel 56
    RCN channel 83
    Digital channel 111
    without cable box on channel 17
And on Verizon FiOS the line up is:
    MNN #1 – Verizon FiOS channel 33
    MNN #2 – Verizon FiOS channel 34
    MNN #3 – Verizon FiOS channel 35
    MNN #4 – Verizon FiOS channel 36

Coach World TV can also be viewed on the Internet at: www.mnn.org.

p.p.s. Time Management Secrets For the Busy Women tomorrow on Beyond Lip Service Radio at 10am pacific I interview the founder of the International Association of Women Small Business Owners, Rachel Johnsen. We are going to find out her top secrets to getting it all done.  www.BeyondLipServiceRadio.com  If you can’t listen in live, it’s will be there as a podcast or on my iTunes channel right after the broadcast. 

— Does the word “no” rarely part your lips?

— Are you always worried about what others will say if you say "No"?

— Maybe you think "nice people" just don’t say no….

What is not saying NO costing you?

I know, even the thought of saying "No" can cause stress.  "I can’t say "No, to <INSERT NAME>." and  "My <INSERT GOOD CAUSE> needs me!"  Saying "No" brings out all kinds of negative emotions especially guilt.

If it makes you feel any better, you’re not alone.

Not saying no is rarely about just saying yes when you really want to say no.  No is a boundary and one of the most difficult things to do, for women in particular, is draw boundaries and keep them in place. We always tell ourselves "<INSERT NAME> depends on me to…." Now, I’m not talking about saying no to everything.

Where should you draw the line? Of course only you know the answer to that. It is up to each individual. To help give you some great starter moves I asked, Gary Ryan Blair if I could share his recent e-letter on "Saying No."

I thought it very relevant as we review 2011 and prepare for 2012.  Incorporating even just a couple of Gary’s 15 ideas below will save you time, energy and money. Vow to make 2012 your year to say NO to what really doesn’t serve you.

——–

No, No, No

   by Guest Blogger Gary Ryan Blair

Saying No is the world’s best, fastest and easiest productivity strategy, primarily because it simplifies.

You will succeed on the basis of what, where and how you say "no". And "Saying NO" allows you to get more control over your daily life and activities–IMMEDIATELY!

For the first 100 days of 2012, you must resolve to give "NO" the strategic resolve it deserves!

The following are fifteen simple, effective and empowering strategies that you can use to get results–IMMEDIATELY!

1.) What strategies, initiatives and activities will you say "no" to?

There is great feeling, focus, empowerment, and impact when everyone agrees on paper the activities that will not be done.

Pull out a piece of paper and list all of the superfluous activities that can slow down, or prevent progress from happening altogether.

Everything is fair game and absolutely nothing is sacred in this exercise. Simply put, if it does not advance you forward, then say no!

2.) What meetings will you decline or delegate?

List every meeting you have in place for the foreseeable future and determine which you will NOT be attending. Meetings consume large chunks of productive time, most are run improperly and inefficiently, and most can be declined or delegated to someone else.

3.) What relationships will you not keep?

The way you manage your relationships has an enormous impact on your ability to perform at consistently high levels.

Identify the top three energy-draining relationships, that you are committed to saying "no" to for the next 100 days. Then focus on creating strategies to free yourself from each of them.

4.) What measurements will you ignore?

Say goodbye to all lagging indicators and ONLY pay attention to measurements related to customer satisfaction and the levers that directly drive sales, margin, operating expense and ROI.

5.) What customers will you not target?

Identify your IDEAL prospect, client or customer and quit chasing every opportunity as it’s a complete waste of time and resources. Once identified, you must then articulate who you will NOT target.

Finally, make decisions on segments of your customers that deserve "VIP" treatment.

6.) What competitors will you not follow?

Way too much time is lost by following and focusing on too many competitors and so-called guru’s. Identify the top three and immediately remove yourself from all of the other email distribution lists, blogs and other related communications.

7.) What websites will you not visit?

Web sites are like magnets and vampires, as they draw you in and suck away productive time. Pull up your list of favorites, delete most of them and keep only the ones of greatest value. You must institute a "No Surfing" policy and stick to it.

8.) What money will you not spend?

Put yourself on a fiscal diet as every dollar spent should be thought of as an investment towards greater operating income — even petty cash. With this in mind, what things, or even entire budget categories, will you not spend?

9.) What trips will you not make?

It’s hard to deny the power of ‘showing up’ in person as great things happen when you show up and interact with customers and colleagues. Nonetheless, trips consume massive gobs of time and money. Therefore, consider how you can use technology to replace trips, and only travel when it can make a big impact towards your primary goals.

10.) What foods will you not eat?

Reaching the next level of performance and productivity begins with how you manage energy. It’s disturbing to see the immense amount of human and corporate potential squandered due to the misuse of energy.

Unhealthy eating habits, lack of exercise, negativity, sarcasm, unfocused goals and strategies are all contributing factors to energy loss. Focus in on your nutritional intake and exercise by eliminating any food, or drink that compromises your energy levels.

11.) What excuses will you not engage in?

Excuses drain energy, time, production and profits. Have a brutally honest conversation with yourself and determine the excuses or behaviors that you must do away with. I’m aware that it’s easier said than done, but you will NOT be able to achieve your true potential by fighting for and repeating useless behavior.

12.) What will you not say?

Develop the habit of saying NOTHING that does not move the ‘agenda’ forward or uplift others. Speak ONLY of the solution, and waste not a second on the problem or blame.

You will save a lot of time and mental energy which can be directed towards more useful activities.

13.) What thoughts will you not entertain?

Remember that which does not move you towards your goal, takes you away from it. Therefore remove those thoughts that are limiting, defeating or downright negative and consciously choose to replace them with thoughts of abundance, optimism, and positivity. Don’t tolerate negative thoughts or conversations from yourself or others.

14.) What television shows will you not view?

If there was ever a time hog that needed to be slaughtered, television tops the list.  In even a moderate TV-watching household, it’s simply amazing how many hours are spent in front of the box. The solution–go cold turkey!

15.) What will you no longer tolerate from yourself or others?

Saying "no" and meaning it is the easiest word for setting a limit, holding firm to boundaries, and being clear about what you will or will not do. Identify the standards you wish to measure your life by and refuse to lower or negotiate at any time, nor for any reason.

Use the veto power of "No" regularly and with conviction as it’s a powerful strategic weapon that you can use to maximize your results in the first 100 days of the New Year.

————-
About Gary Ryan Blair from http://www.100daychallenge.com/

The 100 Day Challenge is a revolutionary extreme performance acceleration system that is responsible for transforming business and human potential into extraordinary results worldwide. Visit http://www.100daychallenge.com/ and take the 7-Day Test Drive.

Good day!  And a Terrific Tuesday to you!

Well, here we are again just a couple of days away from Thanksgiving.  Thank you for being part of my world.

Have you ever noticed that this time of year can bring out the best and the worst in us? Often our time to be grateful feels more like our nerves are grating….

Here are 3 of my favorite family survival tips – please share your tips in the comment section below! 

Survival tip #1:  Be Proactive.

We all know that the proverbially Uncle Joe or Cousin Sue are going to do what they always do. So, why are you surprised each year when it happens again? Prepare ahead of time how you will react. 

Just because you are asked a question, doesn’t mean you have to answer it.  Breathe deep. Smile and move on. You don’t have to defend anything. 

If smile and move on feels a bit too firm right now, enlist a family member to distract you when they see Uncle Joe or Cousin Sue start to close in for the "kill." Consider giving your ally a safety phrase such as “Marge, can you help pour the water?”

Speaking of water, drinking a glass of cool water or washing your hands in cool water, quickly cools off those negative responses, thoughts and feelings.

Survival tip #2: Know your NO. 

Life coach and friend Indrani from www.indranislight.org has a wonderful saying; “If you don’t know your No you will never know your Yes.”

Have courage and maintain boundaries.  Boundaries are about respecting yourself and others. When we set a boundary, we allow the relationship to stay in a good place. If others encroach on our boundaries or we have not set any, we often feel taken advantage of, which in turn, results in resentments. 

Respect others boundaries as well. If you don’t know what to say, be sure and avoid sensitive topics. Instead of “Have you found a job yet?” Ask “Catch me up on what’s happening?” If we speak only with positive intention, it helps keep the whole mood positive. Emotions are contagious — positive and negative.

(Indrani joined me on Beyond Lip Service Radio today listen into my interview on the topic of Getting from "I’m not enough." Indrani shares great tips on boundaries and other ways to move past negative talk.)

Survival tip #3: Use the GoBoD rule.

Two of the "favorite expectations" I hear in my coaching practice are "They should have known" and "It has to be perfect." 

When I hear "they should have known" my immediate response is "Why should they have known?" I have a friend who until recently didn’t know the difference between fudge and brownies, maybe you don’t either… it doesn’t matter. Yet, being a long time brownie fan and not so much fudge fan, I was surprised! In my world, they should have known – right? Why should they have known? It wasn’t part of the culture they grew up in. With fudge and brownies, it doesn’t matter what I expected or preferred as it makes no difference, yet sometimes it does make a difference.

We often expect others to be just like us or mind readers.  I have met some people like me, but none just like me and I’ve never met a honest-to-goodness mind-reader so the odds are not too good "they should have known" and did something to upset me on purpose .

This is where I call in the oldé GoBoD rule: Give others the Benefit of Doubt. Giving someone the Benefit of Doubt saves a lot of shoulding all over yourself and if the person continues after they know, reconsider if you want them in your life anyway.

As to the other common expectation, "It has to be perfect," or some variation thereof, let’s get real, perfect doesn’t exist.  When "it wasn’t perfect" or "it has to be perfect" is your war cry, step back and know that your “good enough” is most likely everybody else’s perfect.

Perfect is about control. We all know we can’t control what happens, the control we have is in how we chose to respond to what happened. Disappointment happens when our expectations of the “fairy-tale” and the event don’t match up.  Learn to make your expectations preferences and life will be much smoother. Things go much easier when we “prefer” something goes a particular way versus we “expect” something a particular way.

I have a sign on my porch that says, “Martha doesn’t live here and that’s a good thing.” It always brings a smile to those in the know…. 

Have a wonder-filled rest of your week whatever your adventures
To Success! To life!
Sharon

p.s. Wishing you a Happy Thanksgiving here in the States. And all of you, here and around the world, joy and abundance always. I am especially thankful and abundant this year as my coaching business has  grown and prospered.   I am honored you are part of my community and I am able to share and work with so many of you to reach your goals, bring your passions out and create the life our your dreams — that is what makes this the best job!

I’m taking the rest of this week off to spend Thanksgiving with my family and will be back in touch next week.

The other day in my blog, I asked are you sure you understand?

And are you sure you are being understood?

Up popped the question, that is great in person, what about email?

Same as in person when we write an email, it’s important to get right to the heart of the message. Too often time is wasted, misunderstandings happen, mistakes made, and conflict arises because of being to vague. 

Know your intention for the email. Most people know roughly what they want, but do not take the time to clearly think it through.  Or worse, they know what they don’t want, not what they want. This is how we end up with ambiguous, muddled or unclear messages. Without a clear understanding of our desired end results, our thoughts are disorganized and we can easily confuse the listener.  Once we are clear on the outcome(s) how do we make sure we are understood?

Same Words, Different Worlds Part 2

Let’s take a simple example: Giving your assistant directions in email – say, a VA and you can’t just go down the hall… so what to do….

5 tips for email or written directions for clarity and understanding.

# 1 Use basic fonts. Just like in using simple words, use simple (standard) fonts. San serif (no hands and feet e.g. Arial) is easiest to read on screen. Serif (with hands and feet e.g. Times) is easiest to read when printed.   Plus everything in moderation — there is nothing worse than all UPPER CASE (means you are shouting), all bold, too many italtics and multiple colors blinding the display. Avoid overusing exclamation points, question marks, underlines etc.

# 2 Size does matter when it comes to fonts. If the fonts that are too small, too large, or otherwise hard to read, 12 to 14 point is about right. If your audience is over 60 consider 14 to 16 point font size.

# 3 Formatting is important. Make emails easy to read and quick to scan by using bullet points, numbered lists, and keeping paragraphs short. Highlight keywords for emphasis, yet remember rule #1 – everything in moderation.

# 4 Curb your enthusiasm. Choose professional sign-offs like "Sincerely" and "Regards." Have a short signature line underneath your signature. No need to give your entire resume. I once saw a 28-line email signature statement underneath their signature – really, do we need to know all of it?

#5 Speak in third person with volatile information. Personally, I don’t think email is the place to carry on emotional or volatile conversations; there is too much room for misunderstanding. The mood of the reader is often placed onto the email they are reading. If you must, refer to the volatile information in the third person e.g. "The report is incorrect" instead of "Your report is wrong."

BONUS: Send or show samples if you are requesting a specific type of work, be it a text sample, screen shot, or attachments send the recipient samples.

Added to the first 5 from Part One of Being Understood Quickly and you will have an email that will get your message heard and understood.

#1 Answer the WIIFM question first. Make sure the listener understands the relevance. People want to know “what do you need from me?" or "what’s in it for me?” Answer this question quickly. Skip long introductions, backgrounds, compliments and details. Jump to the point. State it clearly using minimal words.

 #2 Stick to the facts. Too much backstory can cause confusion. Often we feel compelled to go into all the gritty details most of the time they are not necessary. Unless asked, you don’t need to overly elaborate anything.

# 3 Use active verbs. Active verbs help to energize your conversation. Instead of "The project will be done by Pam," write: "Pam will do the project." Use the straightforward — subject, verb, object —  sentence structure.

# 4 Use simple words. Leave the million dollar words for your dissertation. This isn’t about anyone being simple-minded, it adds to the clarity of the message. If you make it too fancy you can force your listener to go running for their mental dictionary.  Even with simple words, words can have more than one meaning, whether real or emotional, especially if the language the directions are given in are not the listener’s first language.

# 5 Ask open-ended questions. You both can gain clarity by asking open-ended questions. An open-ended question is one that cannot be answered yes or no.  Have them describe not only the plan or steps to get to the goal, have them describe their vision of success for the assignment. Your job is to listen and not interrupt with corrections or additions. Once they have finished describing their "understanding" it is time for clarification, corrections, additions, follow-up and asking if they have ideas to add to make the project a success, then review.