Sharon Sayler

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Jerry Seinfeld once shared, “At a funeral, most people would rather be in the casket than giving the eulogy.” Too true! That’s fear, yet most people say things like, “Oh, I’m not a good public speaker,” or “I wouldn’t know what to say…”. That’s FEAR talking….

I’ve had clients that know certain suggestions I make would make a difference, yet they steadfastly say, “Come up with a different answer, because I don’t like that.” It could be as simple as writing an email or make a phone call…yet some fear, from somewhere, is keeping them from moving towards what they say they want. That’s resistance sharing the mind-stage with fear….

Then they complain and blame all types of events, people, and situations for not getting what they set out to get. Many even have an “If only I had done…” mind-battle when the moment has passed. That’s guilt now pushing fear and resistance off the mind-stage. Guilt can be a drama queen and often likes to stick around on the mind-stage far too long.

Consider the four most common fears that stop us from reaching our full potential:

F: Failure
E: Embarrassment
A: Awesomeness
R: Rejection

These fears are based on not knowing what will happen next just like most fears. It’s a fear of leaving what you know for what you don’t know. That’s where the axiom for fear as “false evidence appearing real” comes from. I like it, but sometimes the evidence is real or we don’t recognize what we are feeling as fear.

Not knowing is never fun, but thinking we know what’s going to happen next is really a construct of our mind. Do we really truly know what will happen next?  No, we only know what will probably happen next based on what has happened previously. Those moments of not knowing can often feel like a free-fall. It can be uncomfortable. Yet, I haven’t found a way to make great strides in getting what you want without those moments of having to consciously breathe fully and completely, then trusting, just trusting you will know what to do when the time comes.

Living courageously, consciously and mindfully requires us to acknowledge that many parts of us exist including fear, resistance, and guilt. This trio is part of our internal safety gatekeepers. Managing the mental side of the FEAR family is a life-long commitment and being mindful of your triggers and where you resist growth and change will allow you to consciously take control to break through those fears that appear very real. Don’t let these hidden fears of greatness keep you from your full potential.

  • Where are you shoving a brick under your own success accelerator…?
  • What fears do you allow to stand in your way?


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