Susie and Otto’s communication secret is “Be totally transparent.” Speak your truth yet in a loving way that allows the other person to want to share with you. Often times we get bound up in fear, it takes courage to step out and start new ways of communicating.

It all starts with you; be willing to be the first to own up to whatever “games” you might have been playing.  A very common game is the “Gotcha game” where you both “know” you are right and work towards proving you are right and the other person is wrong. As Susie said, “Go on the no-blame diet.”

Otto quoted “Everything you do and say is going to move you closer to or further away from what you want.” It all starts with your intentions. Work on becoming aware of what’s not working. Be willing to ask for feedback. Determine what you want, what is your center and how you want to be — come from the place of love and appreciation.

Choose language that is specific and you oriented – not the other oriented. Stop the drama. Use language such as “I’m wondering if…” or “Are you open to…” instead of “You did…” or “You should….”

This is just the tip of the great conversation Susie, Ottto and I had.  Listen in here #BlogTalkRadio at

Susie and Otto Collins are married partners, authors, speakers and Breakthrough Relationship Coaches–specializing in helping people create conscious, connected, passionate relationships. They are authors of “Stop Talking on Eggshells,” “Magic Relationship Words” “Should You Stay or Should You Go?” “No More Jealousy,” “How to Heal Your Broken Heart,” “Relationship Trust Turnaround,” and “Red Hot Love Relationships.”