Coach Sharon Sayler’s Beyond Lip Service is sponsored by www.impressionengineers. com, today we welcomed Anjuelle Floyd is author of Keeper of Secrets…Translations of an Incident, a collection of interconnected short stories, and a novel, The House, due for publication in Fall 2009. She is a wife of twenty-seven years, mother of three, licensed Marriage and Family Therapist specializing in dream work.

Her number one communication tip is Listening (not hearing.) Listening is active, noticing the tone and the speaker’s body language, even looking for what they are not saying… What they are not saying can tell you as much about the “issue” as what they are saying. When we respond, we want to choose the right words, being careful to let the other person work through or solve it for themselves. We want to stay out of the trap of “Let me take care of that for you.” We can acknowledge that we heard, have empathy for what was said and still not have to accept what was said.

Being from North Carolina, Anjuelle shared a great metaphor for watching for patterns. “Stick a pin in it,” meaning place a mental marker and then each time it comes up again, you place another mental marker. After awhile you being to see a pattern of how the person chooses to communicate with you. Perhaps they are requesting many things and you feel compelled to say yes… that’s where her other secret to communication is beneficial. Knowing when to say “no.” Good listening involves boundaries too…

To learn more about Anjuelle visit her blog
She also is the host of her own weekly blog talk radio show, Book Talk, Creativity and Family Matters

What is your best communication “secret?”