“You mentioned on the teleseminar call that you feel that nature/nurture each contributed to someone being an introvert. I feel I have the opposite experience as I am an extreme extrovert (ENTJ on the Myers-Briggs, nearly the total opposite of you!), but I find that my job of the last many years has forced me to become introverted and just accept what is given to me here at the office.
I fear that I have become reactive instead of active and that I can only change back to myself after I leave the office doors.
Is there a way to find some balance between introverted/extroverted at the office where you don’t lose yourself?”
Thank you ‘C’ for your question,
I’m glad you brought this up. I often job-shadow to determine exactly what workplace dysfunction is happening and how to solve it and your question relates to one I am seeing more often.
Your situation relates to an internal conflict around you and the work environment. Closing in or down, as you mentioned is not a true introvert….
For a reason that should be explored more than an email answer can cover, ‘closing in and bringing your energy in’ is the way you currently chose to feel ‘safe’ at work. Now, I don’t mean you feel your life is in danger (at least I hope not) however a safe environment to speak up, be original, and be yourself is missing.
There are techniques both verbal and nonverbal that can shift the energy, allow you to speak up and bring your power back into balance. The first step is to spend some time observing how you and others communicate at the office.
Explore your feelings and thoughts as you listen to others communicate with you and what is considered acceptable communication throughout your workplace.
Often, a lack of trust is an integral part in an unsafe environment and you may notice an ‘air’ of tension or conflict.
Know that conflict can be a bit difficult to ‘see’ as it often is part of the culture, that you have been a part of for a long time. An example of ‘hidden conflict’ is passive aggressive behavior.
Stay open to objective observation and choose to be flexible as you examine why it feels better to be reactive and closed in.
I wish you the best as you work your way through this. I appreciate you reaching out. Stay in touch.
Please Note: In no way does Sharon wish to be perceived as a ‘guru’ of any kind. She is a coach who is passionate about connecting through respect-fill communication and has made the in-depth understanding of communication and relationships her lifelong commitment, and who has repeatedly applied this knowledge to the creation of several successful businesses from scratch, on her own private journey of service, personal mastery, happiness … and beyond.
She encourages you to seek appropriate professional help when necessary.