My friend Stephen attended a workshop last weekend. As he relayed the event, he commented that the instructor had a favorite response to many questions… “Your choice.”

It is our choice, isn’t it? Yet, life doesn’t always feel as simple as those two words make it seem.

Sometimes, you have to make hard choices and sometimes the right choice isn’t very clear. As I got to thinking about making a tough choice,  I first thought about the law of unintended consequences… each time a choice is made other things will change. If possible, allow time to explore the benefits and risks involved in changing or not.

When faced with a hard decision, here are CHOICE keys to consider:

Choose one decision at a time. Revisit your goals and values and examine alternatives. This is a good time to check in with both your heart and head. What do you feel and think about the decision?

Honor those affected by your choice. Be proactive and inform them first. Do not play games or beat around the bush. Be transparent.

Open your communication and say what you mean. Use whole messages. A whole message has 4 parts; a description of the need for the decision, your thoughts around the decision (beliefs, values, goals,) your feelings about the decisions (your opinion or interpretation,) and your desired outcomes for the decision.

Independent balanced with interdependent. Respect there will be differences. One can still care about someone who has different ideas, interests, and opinions to your own. If you expect them to respect your choices one must respect someone else’s choices and opinions as well.

Courage to know your boundaries and maintain a commitment to the decision. This is not to imply that sometimes decisions cannot change, but by alert to pressures that go against your decision.

Endorse your decision, endure your choice, enjoy your outcome… I came up with so many “E”s it was hard to choose…

Have a great day whatever your adventure

To Success! To Life!



My Blog Talk Radio Show Beyond Lip Service’s special guest is Marian Way this Tuesday April 7th. Marian is from England, where she started out teaching math and later worked for 20 years in the Weight Watchers, where she and a colleague developed the POINTS diet. Now she runs her own training, coaching and facilitation business. Her specialty  is Clean Language, a process for helping people to explore their own metaphors to gain new insights into their thinking and behavior patterns, which can lead to profound change. Marian is in Portland this May with an extended program, which covers Clean Language and two related processes: Symbolic Modeling and Clean Space. Join me this Tuesday April 7th at 1:00 PM Eastern/10AM Pacific for Beyond Lip Service at